Warlock and Joe D Take Manhattan…

June 24, 2008 at 2:51 pm (Field Report)

Hey guys,

So this past weekend I was very lucky to have one on one training with non other than Joe D. Joe flew all the way from LA to The Big Apple just to help with my game and I have to say that it was an amazing experience. These past 3 days have been ingrained in my life.

First off guys Im going to say right now. Your not going to see much detail in this review. The reason is because I learned allot about myself and one of the things I learned was that I over analyze everything. My field reports only make this worse. So this will probably be my last field report or at least until I can overcome this flaw in my game.

My experience with Joe D is something I am still actively processing. Joe was insanely organized guys I was really shocked at how well he broke down the system to me. He was also gun ho! At one point I DLV’d myself with a stupid comment and Joe stopped what he was saying and read me the riot act. I was not allowed to be lower value. I was a high value man and I should show it.

The first night out guys was intense. My thoughts before the weekend were. Oh I am an intermediate PUA, I get numbers (even if they 100% flake out), I open sets (5 in a night), I don’t have AA anymore. Guys I was full of dodoo (I’m trying to cut the cursing), that night I opened 15 sets and proceeded to get the worse AA I have ever had! I had thought that taking a boot camp was fun. No guys it really is a BOOT CAMP, you will push yourself harder than you have ever gone, you will be forced to face things you had ignored for a long time.

How bad do you want it?

We all say “oh yeah I want it no question” well that bull guys because you say you want it but you spent most of the night being a wall flower with your friends or you sit at your keyboard typing on message boards. No if you really want it you will open set after set and get horrible reactions that will make you feel like you got kicked in the nuts. You will want to cry, you will want to run, and you will want to go home, jack off to you tube porn, cruise the net and watch movies while eating junk food.

Thats what I went through. I came to a crossroad on Saturday morning a HUGE chunk of my brain was saying “David (yep thats my name) just stay home bro, just stay home read comics, cruise the net, watch your netflix”it was very alluring guys, I have to be honest I was very tempted. But more than anything I wanted it, I wanted to live to be part of the party. Yes I am saying that if you spend all your evenings playing warcraft, watching netflix films ON THIS BOARD then you are not living, you are the walking dead.

Guys the first night was not only intense for me but also for Joe, I was a hard case. Joe could have been like “well he hasn’t gotten it, whatever I got my money” and just thrown information at me. But he didn’t he sat me down and told me he was not going to stop until I got this information. He would not sleep until he found a way to get through to me. Guys thats the kind of coach you want. Someone who believes in you even when you are not.

I was running sets that night, I was DHVing, I was making jokes, guys Joe met old friends of his who brought with them insanely hot women, these girls were Alpha females they would have not given a crap if I was friends with Joe D or not, they would have ignored me. By the end of the night I e-mailed closed one and was making them laugh and love me. The following day Joe told me one girl asked him who his student was and he told her. She was shocked. She could not comprehend how I could have even needed to be trained when I seemed flawless.

Guys I feel a huge change in me. I am an alpha male, I always was I just tricked myself into believing that there actually was such a thing as a beta male. We are all alpha males guys. I now have the 5 attraction switches ingrained in my head. All I want to do now is give value to other value givers. I want to enjoy life and meet Men and Women. I want to build a life. I want to eat healthier, look better, and most of all learn. Game is not my life its only a small aspect of the bigger picture.

Thanks Joe you gave me wings bro…you gave me wings.


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When In Doubt Online Game!

June 16, 2008 at 12:54 pm (Online Game)

 So I completely choded out this weekend.  I felt pretty crappy about it, on Saturday I couldn’t get any concrete plans out of anyone and allot of my regular wings did not return my phone calls.  Turns out everyone decided to take the weekend off.

So I spent the weekend trying out some online game and I actually made allot of progress. I realized that my profile tends to attract geekier girls. The uber hotties on the other hand are a no go.  I’m kind of torn on that issue, on the one hand I could alter my profile to cater to the clubby sex in the city wanabee girl but would that really be me? I’m a geek and I like being a geek but why am I attracted to social club butterflies?

I got 2 solid interactions, re-opened one girl who flaked out on me years ago and reestablished communication with a girl who is my x’s friend.  Lets call her HB Poison, I really dig HB Poison but shes dangerous. I cant read her and last time we hung out (December), I thought I was building attraction when in fact I later learned that sparked her danger chode meter (she realized my intentions and I was still very AFC back then). I don’t normally meet women who spark an intellectual attraction. The few who do always floor me. I get very attached and take it hard when they reject me.  I hear it happens to everybody (even Tyler) so I don’t think I should be too concerned about it.

Still online game is not real game. First off I don’t understand why guys keep saying its easy. Its actually hard. First off you dont have any body language to fall back on, second it takes a while to even know if your initial opener hooked or not, I have sent 20 messages out and only gotten 1 or 2 responses.  So no its not easier, your judged allot on looks online this whole “oh they see the real me” on internet is bullshit. Maybe your just funny and being funny goes a long way online but if you don’t have a picture or worse have bad ones up, thats going to be big strikes against you.

Yeah give me real interactions were I know in half a second if I have won or lost.

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Why I shoudn’t do online game

June 15, 2008 at 7:08 am (Field Report)

So a few weeks back i bought a e-book called Window Shopping For Women after hearing the authors on The Pick Up Podcast. So I got the book, pimped out my profile…


And started sending out their openers and got…


I must have send out messages to 40 girls and only one or two responded with a basic response and no further interactions.  I was using allot of openers I learned on their forum which they said were “successfully tested”, finally I decided to stick to one opener and see if a pattern emerged.

I got a response and well you can read it for yourself (start from the bottom and work your way up)

—————– Original Message —————–
From: ..*Monika*..
Date: Jun 15, 2008 2:45 AM

dude I’m serious now….who are you? we couldnt be together (lol) because i like gurls not boys… silly!

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Warlock
Date: Jun 14, 2008 11:31 PM

Well I once beat someone at thumb wrestling who claimed to be the world champion so that makes me the world champion. No one has beat me yet.

Don’t be a fraidy cat. Is that what all you girls think guys want passwords? Typical, you know we have feelings too. I dont know if it will work between us now, you’ll always think im trying to get your passwords and I’ll always think you are only with me because of my amazing body. ~sigh~ Im sad now

—————– Original Message —————–
From: ..*Monika*..
Date: Jun 15, 2008 2:22 AM


—————– Original Message —————–
From: Warlock
Date: Jun 14, 2008 11:18 PM

Im your secret boyfriend, we should make up a secret handshake and thumb wrestle but I must let you know I am a world champion.

How was your night? Were you stalking me? I thought I saw someone in the bushes when I got home. Your cute when you try to act like a ninja.

—————– Original Message —————–
From: ..*Monika*..
Date: Jun 15, 2008 2:00 AM

lol you funny who are you? and i feel happy coz my girlfriend loves me….. or at least she acts like it lol

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Warlock
Date: Jun 14, 2008 10:55 PM

Oh don’t be sorry! Is that an existential question? haha what do you mean? Like do I like Disneyland?…heck yes i do! Don’t you?

How come you feel loved? Did you get a puppy?!

—————– Original Message —————–
From: ..*Monika*..
Date: Jun 14, 2008 10:55 PM

i’m sorry… but do i know you?

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Warlock
Date: Jun 14, 2008 5:43 PM

are you shy, or something?

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June 14, 2008 at 7:02 pm (Bio, Inner Game)

I did not go out Friday night. Everyone flaked out and no one returned my phone calls.  I spoke to Love Pirate but he wouldnt make it till around 11pm to sarge. He also sounded a bit tired, I told him to stay in. One True Matt also texted me, turns out his Day2 flaked out on him, so he wound up going to 230 & 5th.

I stayed home and watched the entire 4th season of Greys Anatomy.

This can never happen again.

I go out every weekend twice a week. I have been doing that for 3 months straight. This is key for my development. If I don’t push myself to go out I will never get better.

Today had everything going for me. I scored a number from a girl on the subway (she was a old classmate I had a crush on forever who disappeared on me) and I re-opened HB Blue (See my b-day report) by doing some solid text game and got her myspace.

But I was too scared to sarge alone. So I choded out.

I cant be a chode, I can never chode out, it doesn’t serve me.

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A Chat With Joe D

June 12, 2008 at 7:16 pm (Bio, Uncategorized)

So I have been talking to Joe D from “The Pick Up Artist” on VH1 and instructor for the Venusian Arts. Hes actually the one that told me to start writting field reports so he could read them. Heres a chat we recently had

12:23 PM Me: hey

12:24 PM Joe:
  I am reading your field reports from your birthday and boy we got lots to talk about
 me: good I am a sponge ready to learn
12:25 PM Joe: Ok first you seem to be using a lot of situational openers, no wonder you aren’t staying in set for a longer time
12:26 PM me: yeah I tend to bail really quickly cause i panic
 Joe: exactly thats because once that situational conversation is over you have no where to go, everything else seems incongruent
 me: yep
12:27 PM Joe: also I was thinking about our venues
  I want you to choose big places filled with 9’s and 10’s rather then 6’s and 7’s
12:28 PM me: yeah we sometimes hit the spots were the 6’s and 7’s are but its not as exciting as the meatpacking where the 8’s and ups are at
12:29 PM hmm
  sorry read really quickly
12:30 PM well meat packing is full of 8’s and up but I will be honest, I get very nervous around them, I have been interacting with them but its almost an immediate blow out or ejection
12:31 PM Joe: then we have lots to work on
  I don’t teach guys how to pickup average girls lol
 me: hahah
  cool dude
12:32 PM Joe: Another thing I am noticing is that these girls are giving you compliance tests all the time
  they are tooling you and making you look like the dancing monkey
12:33 PM me: yeah i love shits because it means their interested but im still not passing all of them and tend to fall for them cause i get caught up in the moment.
 Joe: they aren’t shit tests they are tooling you, they are using you to entertain themselves
12:34 PM do your fire wallet trick again (girls giggle as one goes behind you to look to see whats going on) when she sees you do your trick she calls you gay, they weren’t interested in the trick they just wanted to see how you did it
12:35 PM all these girls are making you jump through hoops and you are jumping
 me: hmm your right
 Joe: low low low value, thats why your attraction game is low you have no DHV
12:36 PM me: hmm
  man this is good
12:37 PM I had a suspecion i was doing something wrong
 Joe: bachelorette party: the girl is trying to take your crown and giving you fake IOI’s because you are entertaining them and the MOMENT you pick her up she is pissed. That wasn’t a coincedence
 me: wow so you can teach me the difference between fake ioi’s and real ones?
12:38 PM Joe: of course
 me: sweet
12:39 PM cause sometimes i think I can read things correctly but other times im like what the heck is going on?
 Joe: judging from these recent reports you are very miscalibrated but thats ok, we can fix that
12:40 PM me: cool cool
  yeah ive been feeling like im all over the place
 Joe: next big thing, keep work and pleasure seperate
 me: yeah you dont need to tell me twice
  i learned that one the hard way
12:42 PM Joe: alright my brotha let that stuff sink in, see ya in 9 days
 me: see ya

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Just Another Sarge….

June 12, 2008 at 7:07 pm (Field Report)

 So the following day I spent the day mostly sulking. I read some PUA blogs and thought allot about my game and my progression. All my life I have always been told that I do not appreciate what I have because I always crave more. Before I used to believe that there was merit to this but lately I wonder if thats just an excuse to be complacent. If I don’t crave more then how do I push myself? Why should I be happy with my success so far when its obvious that I need to be further along.


Anyway I figured that it would be a better night tonight. So I got dressed and hit Union Square. It blazing hot that night and I was wearing my usual blazer. I didn’t mind I used to wear a suit in the rain forest of Puerto Rico, so this weather was just irritating not unbearable. When I got to Union Square I met up with Raven, Shiz and Martyr at Starbucks. All of them were dressed to the nine’s. As we were leaving I turned and opened a two set.


Me: Hey do you guys know where I can find a Mr.Softies Truck?


HB7: Hmm I dont know


HB 6.5: Yeah I dont think I have seen one


Me: Ah man thats too bad


HB7: Why?


Me: I really wanted a vanilla shake


HB7: You should try (Names stupid starbucks drink)


Me: Nah Im kind of anti-starbucks


Okay so I ejected and yeah thinking back why did I have to say I hated Starbucks? I mean I was in a Starbucks! Plus the chick had given me a great window to jump in. She obviously dug me.


Anyway said my good bye and walked out thinking I was the shit since I had already one approach under my belt. Union Square was pumping with honeys. There were allot of ladies in their summer dresses looking mighty fine.


I noticed this was a common conversation with all of us.


Me: Hey look you should approach them


Legionare: Yeah you do it, you pointed them out


Me: ugh! I hate you! Fine!




Me: Uh never mind….


I actually kind of enjoy it really. I mean it forces me to open or eat it. The majority of the time I open even if it is to get blown out because I hate loosing face in front of the guys.


Martyr points out a 3 set for me and I go and open with my Mr.Softies opener. It works pretty well, the girls tell me theres one on the other side of the park but I do think it was a little obvious that I wanted to open them (no pun intended) because heres a guy in a suit, approaching them to talk about ice cream? What?! I think had I been in state it would have gone a whole lot differently. But still the set didn’t go that bad and I managed to have a few minutes of conversation before I ejected.


The park was packed and it was very target rich, lets be honest everyone goes to Union Square to hook up. Shiz started doing freedom social exercises, at one point he started dancing in front of some guy preaching to a group full of people. Martyr also joined in on the fun. The guys were running around telling girls knock, knock jokes, asking for directions or doing very basic interactions.


I bumped into Dino and we had a chance to catch up which was cool. I showed him my fire wallet and shocking lighter. He had to bail and Caramel arrived. I then spotted a really cute HB 7 Indian girl. Shiz had approached her and made a knock knock joke. She seemed friendly and I knew I had to approach her or else I would be thinking of her all night.


So I did…with Raven next to me (what? I didn’t want to get AA). I asked her (in a BR tone of voice) if she was lost because I kept seeing her walk around. I told her my friends and I were wondering who she was waiting for, they said boyfriend but I thought secret spy. Which she got a kick out of. I introduced myself to her and shook her hand, she gave me a warm smile. I think she dug me, I did a formula that I heard from the Judge “I like your _________ But don’t you worry that ________”. So I said “I like your dress but don’t you worry a gust of wind will blow it up over your head”


It was a pretty stupid line and it felt forced and although I know she found it a little weird, she didn’t blow me out. Instead I ejected for no good reason.


Arrrgh!!! So frustrating!


I told the guys I ejected cause she looked way to young but in truth I just panicked and ejected.


We met up with one of Martyrs non community friends who I shall call Doctor Love, cause he was a doctor. Doctor Love was a cool dude. The guys did some more social freedom exercises and we then decided to hit Plunge.


We took the long trek over there, I noticed that Caramel was a little grumpy. We all talked about game and as we were walking we noticed a 3 set standing in front of a porn shop. We tell Martyr to approach and he goes up and asks them if there was something going on that he should know about.


They all looked at him puzzled.


“Uh no why?”


“Because 3 girls standing in front of a porn shop…hello!”


They all burst out laughing! It was a hit! Martyr kept the interaction going for a bit but ejected.

Shiz also kept giving girls hi fives and telling women they were beautiful. Which got giggles and smiles all around.



We get to plunge and we pull a group of Asians to let us walk in with them, I also get a black girl to walk in with me but when we ask two French girls if they will walk in with Martyr they say


Will yuzzz biiii uzzz drinkzzz?


What? No


Whatzzz are yuzzz sheeep?


So Martyr had to wait downstairs for another couple while we went in. Value takers. Martyr walked in with two lesbians 5 minutes later.


Upstairs we bump into another PUA who I shall call PU Douche. He was Asian with a crummy shirt. I realize very quickly that this guy is a value taker and I don’t like him. I don’t know but I’m pretty sure Raven felt the same way. We head to the back of plunge and Raven opens up a two set with me winging him. Raven uses the fuck you opener and they are pretty responsive. Suddenly PU Douche appears and tries to horn in on our set by just standing there like he knows us.


Mother fucker! Apparently he does this allot, he sees a PUA and just jumps in and pretends he knows the PUA because hes too chicken shit to open up his own set.


We ignore PU Douche and box him out, he eventually gets the hint and moves on. Some how I wound up with a black haired cute HB Asian 7, this chick is cute and we start to hit it off, but I’m not escalating physically plus she is seated so I start to feel the attraction start to die off. Toward the end I get so desperate to turn things around that I call over Shiz and Martyr to help us out by doing the photo routine but its over. Eventually we get blown out.


I walk around with Shiz and Raven, I spot a very cute thin white girl and do the cheers woo move. It clicks we all start talking, I decide to take the initiative and tell her I think shes cute, she responds very well. Raven and Shiz split leaving us alone. We talk a bit and I deploy the claw and it works but I get scared and pull back, she realizes i wont pull the trigger and she blows me out.


I walk back to the guys. We talk for a bit, grumpy Caramel is pushing for us to leave and hit Gaslight because there are guys there. Raven and the rest of the guys agree, we go to find Doctor Love and find him in a two set with two very attractive British girls. He pulls in Martyr and their in set for a while, then PU Douche goes and stands there pretending he knows the, this pisses Caramel off and she goes to distract him. She talks to him for a bit, acting like shes just some random girl, he tells her that Martyr is his best friend and that and I quote “Us Asians stick together” and continues to spouts off random weird things, basically creeping her the fuck out.


Finally the guy gets the hint and disappears. Meanwhile Shiz and I are playing the word game, in which we all start a conversation with a girl based on a word we choose. I tell him Snare Dragon and he tells me Lemons. I ask a girl if she got her necklace at a store called Lemons and it actually hooked decently until her friend dragged her away.


Finally Doctor Love and Martyr end their set, The good doctor has gotten a number! Huzzah! So we bounce to hit another venue. As we walk out of plunge we head to Gaslight only to discover that it is swamped full of people.


As we walk by we bump into two girls. One looks really, really young and the other one is older. I have no idea what she wound up talking about, but all she said was cupcakes. This has got to be the most bizarre conversation I have had to date.


HB8: Cupcakes


Me: You guys are cupcakes? Ha thats really cute, its a good band name


Shes smiling at me and I see the googly eyes


I give her a high 5 and she responds, then she holds on to my hand. But I bail because my friends are leaving. Doctor Love tells me that she was really into me. The guys say that they thought it was mom and daughter because the other girl looked 16.


As we walked we saw another group of girls, one was wearing a hat. Shiz said cool hat and she gave him a look of disgust, Caramel got mad and told them they were being rude. Martyr went back and told them that they should be rude, to which they were just rude back. Martyr stayed in set and left on his own accord not when they demanded it.


We turn the corner and Shiz tells two girls that he can see their toes because they are wearing open shoes (another social freedom exercise) as we walk past them and are half way down the block, one screams JERK OFF!!!


Caramel tries to run back to kick their ass, I hold her back and wind up jokingly calling them the c word. Everyone is laughing having a good time. Thinking back I wish I could have gone back to those girls and just teased them for overreacting. Maybe it was a shit test or maybe they were just jerks. Still I shouldn’t have reacted even if I was just joking.


We hit Gaslight but wow it was swamped. We could hardly move in there, the heat was insane and It was a blur of people. We managed to squeeze to the back of the bar, and I saw a bachlorette party. I decide to go in, so I walk up, tap her on the shoulder. Tell her congratulations and give her a hug. The group loves me. So I eject and you all know the reason, thats right no damn good reason.


Some of the guys do some approaches and we decide to leave, as were leaving the bachlorette party approaches me and asks me if I know a doctor. I point out Doctor Love, turns out they had to take a picture with a doctor for their scavenger hunt. They all give me a hug good bye as thanks and we bounce.


We head out and bump into The Undertaker. We head to park which of course wont let us in because you must have girls with you. At this point Caramel and I are starving, the guys want to walk to union square, I know my leg will kill me with that hike, its already starting to cramp up due to all the walking. So we split up and grab a cap to hit a dinner I know on Union Square.


I was worried, I was worried I would miss out on something amazing to stop to eat. I had time to chat with Caramel for a bit which is is always fun. To be honest I was just happy to get some air conditioned air, it was boiling outside. It was still very very early, only 12:30 we had been sarging since 8pm.



I wanted to call it a night but I felt I needed to push myself, so we met up with the guys at Beauty Bar. Shiz had called it a night and already left. Beauty Bar was pretty packed. Raven tried to do an approach but the girls were foreign. Ugh not to hate but its those sets that almost always go bad, our humor just doesn’t translate and I find it hard to read them.


The guys decide they want to bounce, I know where this is headed. No one will approach and we will wind up at a dead location and call it a night. As we were living we started singing “Build Me Up Buttercup” (wow I just noticed that, how weird!) really loudly having a grand old time. Suddenly everyone around us joined in. It was so funny, there was this one girl who was pretty banging and she started singing with us and all the chodes around her, joined in to impress her. I found that rather entertaining.


Well sure enough we hit the bar next door and its mostly dead. The Undertaker approaches some girls. I hit the bar and buy Raven a birthday beer. There are some girls next to us, I try talking to them but they are not receptive at all. Oh well.


So I just hang with Raven shooting the shit. Suddenly I see an older woman, she is smiling giving Raven the googly eyes. Raven says shes not his type so nothing happens. Wow what is it with the Older Women that Raven tends to attract?


So we call it a night. I get on my train and rest while I think about my night. My sticking point isn’t blown, its still very much alive. I need to start pushing my sets. I spoke to Raven about this the other day its like were all over the place with no consistency. Its like were constantly fluctuating between hot and cold. Plus I have no idea how to lead. I am proud of myself for not letting AA get the better of me and can you believe I have only been doing this for 3 months?


It will take time but I will get through it. Just got to keep the faith.


Lets sum up shall we?


Bonus Points


  1. Got some attraction

  2. Had good banter

  3. Some kino (very light)

  4. Hooked sets


Sticking Points


  1. Not going physical

  2. Ejecting too soon

  3. Low energy

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June 10, 2008 at 3:01 pm (Bio)


So salutations! I am Warlock. As you can see I have allot of field reports, I usually post on www.nycsargeteam.com. I have decided to keep an online blog of my adventures. In this blog you will find all my field reports and soon my thoughts on pick up. I will probably post a bit more about what makes me me, and possibly some pictures and video maybe. Although I’m still thinking about the video, I don’t want to open up a can of worms.


I recently took a RSD seminar which has really opened my eyes to allot of new possibilities. Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions or thoughts on my blog.

Take Care,


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Just Plow…. (06.09.08)

June 10, 2008 at 2:51 pm (Field Report)

It was Friday and I was tired, dead tired to be exact. I did not want to go out, all I wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep. I seriously contemplated not going out but I realized that if I gave in to my chody behavior I would not progress, so I took a shower, got dressed and jumped on the 5 train to the city.

On the train ride there I watched Blueprint on my Ipod. It was Tyler doing some tricks to get into state, I really enjoy RSD’s exercises the problem is no one ever wants to do them with me. I don’t blame them I mean its insane and terrifying to jump around a club clapping while screaming yes. The most I can get from the guys is to yell wooo. Which is okay but doesn’t reve up my energy mega high anymore.

I had spoken to Raven, it was to be him, Martyr and The Undertaker accompanying us. I had decided we hit plunge. To be honest all of us have been tired of the venue but it felt like the easiest place to get into in the meat packing district. So many of these places are so picky on who they let in, your pretty much forced to pick one venue and stick with it all night because you never know how you will get in.

I pulled a single girl and got her to go in with me to Plunge, its probably the easiest trick to get in because for the summer they have decided only to let in couples and single girls. The reason I enjoy the meat packing district is because its all high numbers, women are either 7’s and up. Trust me if you hit plunge then go to Union Square or Sutton Place its like night and day.

So i get upstairs and realize that I am alone, the guys were running late and I had to wait for them for about 15 more minutes. No biggie, really. So I walk around and decide that I am really not feeling the state. But as I am walking I have to move a very cute girl out of the way who is in a group of girls being approached by two chodes. She apologizes and lets me through, as I turn the corner, I think to myself… Man shes actually pretty cute and nice, I should tell her that. So I did just that, I walk right up tap her in the shoulder and say.

Me: Hey I just had to tell you, I think your really fucking cute

HB7: Oh..ha…wow thanks

Me: Your welcome

her friends get a big kick out of it, I smile wave hi, they do so back

And then I eject for no good reason.

This is starting to get annoying.

At this point Raven calls me, he has arrived, we meet up do the usual chatter. I spot a two set and tell Raven to go in, he refuses so I tell him I’m going to go in and get blown out. I tell him, yeah this is going to suck but I have to do it. So I go in and wow….it was bad guys….it was so bad….

In retrospect the girls were nice. I think they might of thought I was this social retard or something. I went in with “Hey my name is Warlock” (the reason this did not work was because I was not in state, I was tired, lazy and not looking forward to approaching strangers…duh of course it was going to fail!) they responded with hi, I tried to do Jeffy’s joke about guys doing interview questions but it feel mostly flat.

Raven said one of the girls was more into me than the uglier one. Anyway the interaction felt really like pulling teeth with pity smiles going around. Finally one girl did the whole “we have to get drinks” and ran.

Wow that was horrible I tell Raven and laugh. I see a 4 set behind him and tell him I’m going in. I decide to be a little lame, I pull out a pack of cigarettes ( I don’t smoke) and ask for a light. One girl says she has one but after looking in her purse she says she doesn’t. I bust on her for that calling her a tease and telling her shes playing with my emotions. I then say…

“You know what I got it, watch this.”

I pull out my fire wallet and light my cigarette they laugh and smile. I introduce myself to them. When I get to the last person, its clearly their mom. I look at her smile and say…

“And you young lady, what is your name?”

She laughs and says “Mom”

“You know I know someone with that exact name but I call her Mah”

They all laugh.

Then once again eject for no fucking good reason. Well the reason is this, when I’m in a interaction and its going well suddenly I start thinking

Oh my god this is going so well! Come on lets keep this up, oh no your going to screw up, eject, EJECT!! WHOOOP!!! WHOOOOP!!!!!

And I bail. This happens allot! I think its just a confidence and being too outcome dependent. I need to work on that. After that Martyr asks me to approach these two anorexic looking Russian models who are smoking. I go up and ask them for a light and THEY REFUSE!!! I was like okay well I got what I expected. I tell Martyr their a hard set and wont crack, he says hes going in, before he can though, they shot down 2 other guys. Martyr goes in and gets blown out really quickly, we all start laughing because after he gets back 2 other guys go and get blown out. We tell Raven to go in, so he goes and first thing he says…

“Okay my turn!!”

We all start busting out laughing, even the girls were cracking up, but they still blew him out. I really wanted The Undertaker to go in but he refused. Still we had a blast getting blown out. At this point The Undertaker decided to call it a night, he was dead tired, so we said our goodbyes and talked for a bit, suddenly a 3 set appeared in front of us. They got approached by a drunken Englishman who just kept babbling on and on. At one point some how I accidentally touch the hottest girl in the groups hand.

“Ooops, I’m sorry don’t worry I’m not getting excited”

She laughs

“No wait I really am”

She busts out laughing, I introduce myself and my wings. This chick was smoking, she was a solid 8. She was an actress so I through out a little neg I learned.

“You know my x was an actress, she was really beautiful but she kept being type cast as hot girl. But when I look at you I know that wouldn’t happen because you have a really distinct look. I think you can really make it”

Now my x was really an actress, so it was rather congruent. Regardless she laughed. We realize the drunk guy has cornered their blond friend. So we ask them if she needs to be rescued. They say yes, so we ask them to introduce her to us, which she gladly does and then we immediately pull her to safety and effectively box out the drunk.

Now I honestly don’t like AMOGing guys but I honestly feel that drunks should be AMOG’ed so that they learn that getting plastered is not a good way to meet women. I wont actively look for drunk guys to tool but if one comes into my set or I see the girl is clearly not into him then all bets should be off.

Getting back to our story, we wind up moving to a small bench, the girls sit and we stay standing (this was a mistake) and we talk and talk and talk and talk. I’m joking but I am not escalating and I slowly start loosing my target. At one point I do my flaming wallet routine and a gust of wind comes which almost causes me to burn off my eyebrows. And I wound up putting a fake tattoo on my target, the funny thing is that when I took out the tempt tattoos they didn’t even question it.

Suddenly Raven appears and proceeds to tell us the most insane story ever. Turns out Raven went to take a leak in one of the bathrooms. As he is zipping up the door bursts open and a blond hot Norwegian cougar appears. She locks the door. She then proceeds to act shocked and embarrassed at the situation of walking in on a man in the bathroom. Raven is shocked, she suddenly says he is hot and tells him that Asian men are so hot.

I am not making this up guys.

BOOM!! MAKE OUT!!! or as Raven so eloquently put it “I got mouth raped”

As they are making out, shes going on about how shes married and how wrong this is but she cant stop herself.

Yeah I know.

Finally they stop because people are banging at the door of the bathroom. They go their separate ways never to see each other again.

What the fuck?! Courgars just love Raven.

Well we all talk some more but I start feeling the window has closed with my 3 set. Eventually we eject. As we do so, we decide that maybe its time to leave Plunge. So after going to the bathrooms (sadly no cougar attacked me) we hit the elevators only to bump into our set. Martyr starts talking about park and I suggest the laddies join us, which surprisingly they do.

We all walk to park and are having a grand old time, joking and laughing. It was our first bounce and it was beautiful. Then we got to park and it DIED!. Oh no it didn’t just die guys, it crapped its pants, let out a shriek, died and then turned green and stunk.

Yeah we get there and suddenly the energy, the laughter was gone only to be left with awkwardness and avoidance. Yeah every thread we threw out there was avoided or cut by them. Finally we decided to bail. Martyr liked my target and even though I talked to her for a while and did compliance tests, I just didn’t feel like she dug me. So when he asked me if he could number close her I told him sure. And he did.

We bounced from Park and decided to hit Brass Monkey. As we came out of Park, we bumped into One True Matt and his wing The Cruiser (I call him that cause he did a really funny imitation of Tom Cruise). We get to Brass Monkey and its packed. Everyone is choding out, The Cruiser seemed a little pissed and walked out.

I started doing approaches but all the women HATED me, I’m not lying they really HATED me. Every set I approached just loathed me. Women gave me faces of disgust and would engage me in awkward conversations. But I stayed in, I stayed in conversations and forced myself to not eject but get blown out. I figured if i got my body used to blow outs, I wouldn’t eject too soon once getting into a good set.

One True Matt and his wing bailed. Raven had massive AA and couldn’t approach. I pointed a set to Martyr and he went in and approached. She immediately fell in love with him She had her arms around him and was talking really closely to him. I kept expecting him to pull the trigger but he wouldn’t finally I got fed up, walked up to him slapped my hand on his back and said..

“Pull the FUCKING trigger”

But he still didn’t so I decided to sarge her friend who was just standing there. I went up and introduced myself but she was not receptive at all. She hated me. Nothing I did could crack a smile, I went on and on with her. Finally I was left just babbling, I literally was talking nonsense with this chick. I called her a spy and told her she was a spy from Zimbabwe (No idea where this came from). I was trying everything to not do the usual interview questions. When I asked one, I even said “Okay interview question!” Ugh I sucked guys lol.

Martyr moved his girl to the bar, Raven and I watched as he did not pull the trigger. Then suddenly a guy who I shall now call Creepanator came by. Creepanator turned out to be the girls coworker and he was on a mission to blow Martyr out and not let him pull the trigger. The guy would not leave! It was amazing! This dude would just stand there staring at them, creeping them both out. Finally after about 15 minutes, Martyr came to us and told us he knew he could pull the trigger but he was scared.

I looked at him and told him, “You go back there and you fucking kiss her! NOW!!!” I also told him the creepanator was all over her trying to get play. He told me he was not worried at all. I could see why she was clearly creeped out by this guy but he just kept going. Finally Raven said “Thats it im tired of this shit!!” and jumped in. He introduces himself and I decided to help out so I go in as well as the cool funny possibly drunk dude.

I was like “DUUUUUDDE!!!! This music is AWESOME!!”

We spoke to the guy for a while, other than his insane antics he wasn’t that bad of a dude. Seriously I don’t understand why normal cool dudes just become creeps around girls. At lease with me if I see the woman might think I’m a creep I will bail. But this dude just keeps going.

He realized what we were doing because the fat friend came by and bumped into him while talking to her by mistake. Suddenly he realized “MY MISSION IS TO CREEP!!”

The Creepanator then goes back to mission priorities but Martyr moves her, after a few minutes we follow to try to stop the Creepanator. I am happy to say Martyr successfully kissed closed and number closed his target. Unfortunately we were not able to stop The Creepanator and he still managed to creep every one out. But we bounced and hit a Dinner to regroup.

At the dinner we were talking for while and then a funny thing happened a solid HB8 turned and just started talking to us giving us advice on women. She was with her gay friend who was also a stand up guy. Turns out they are hair stylists so, we now scored a stylist to do our hairs. Although they loved my hair so I might just go in for a trim.

On the way home I was frustrated that I didn’t have the same level of success as on my birthday. I felt that I am still hitting that same barrier of getting physical, I also don’t know where I am going half the time. I have been at this for 6 months now and I still haven’t had a day 2, girls still flake out and I haven’t gotten laid since October. Its a little maddening. But I wont give up, I mean I figure If I keep hitting that wall eventually I can start getting those kiss closes and eventually a make out, all it takes is time and a drive to keep going. I have both…

Lets sum up shall we?

Sticking Points
1)I am not going physical
2)I am ejecting to early
3)I am letting the energy die
4)I am not leading!

Bonus Points

1)I have great banter
2)I am an approach machine
3)I do not let rejection affect me, in fact I laugh at it
4)I had my first bounce
5)Did DHV (Fire Wallet, Tempt Tattoos)

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Warlock and Ravens Birthday Extravaganza (06.05.08)

June 10, 2008 at 2:50 pm (Field Report)

I woke up late in the day on Saturday. It was pretty rough, I did not feel comfortable in my own apartment and had a tense conversation with my landlord. I was not going to let this ruin my birthday I was going to have a good night, regardless if I got good interactions or not. It was my birthday.

I left my apartment with a concrete plan. We would first go to a karaoke bar called second on second for a dollar you could sign a song. It was a great deal. At around 9ish we would then hit plunge and roll to other locations. With me I had a crown that I would wear and wizards hat for Raven. I also had a digital camera and a video camera to record the festivities. As always I carried my trusty fire wallet and some temp tattoos.

I arrived at second on second early, Raven joined me shortly. Raven and I now were wearing probably the craziest hats in the street. We were pumped, we were going to have an amazing time. Martyr ran a little late and we soon began the celebration. Marty and I both were the first to sing (I chose “Every Breath You Take” by the Police and Martyr sang a Fallout Boy song). Raven chose to do Bon Jovi. I have it all on tape but I wont show you guys, I would rather keep it as blackmail for the future.

A Bachlorette party rolled in, the finest one of the bunch was of course the bride. Who was this very tall, busty blond. Believe it or not, her best feature was actually her personality, she was really down to earth and very cool. I envy her future chody husband.

I was quickly called over by the girls in the group who loved my crown. One particular older blond woman was pretty taken with me. She asked to wear my crown and kept giving me these googly eyes that seems to just convey I dig you. We were bantering very well, she was clearly tipsy. Then I made the mistake of trying a Ozzie move and picking her up in the air.

Boy was she pissed! I think she got a little nauseous and it ticked her off. She scolded me and told me that I should never pick up a lady without asking her first. I laughed and played it off although inside I was freaking out, I’m still a little outcome dependent. Still I didn’t show it at all to the girl. In fact at one point when she was clearly pissed, I asked her for a pinky swear and she busted out laughing. She warmed back up to me and we were kinoing allot, but I didn’t take it anywhere and worst of all I kept thinking that I could close her at whatever time I wanted. Classic rookie mistake. I should always close as soon as possible because if not I will be going home with a boner instead of a number. Sure enough she disappeared halfway through a song.

Second on Second rocked, it was very economical. Songs only cost a dollar and they didn’t hound you to buy drinks. My only complaint is that the lighting sucked, I could barely read the selection of songs. Still its a good place to isolate. Raven and I came up with a game, we would each pick a selection and the person who had to sing it, would not know until he was up there. Raven made me sing RESPECT by Aretha and i got my revenge by making him sing Sinatra’s thats life. Martyr wouldn’t play, he had to know the song before he went up there. I don’t blame him it was scary going up there with no idea what you have to preform but its a hell of a way to get to state.

Love Pirate and One True Matt arrived, Love Pirate began sarging a real hottie but she was married. I think they all were to be honest with you. But I could tell she was into L.P. One True Matt was also very cool, we talked a little bit of game and he commented on my field reports which was cool. Things then started to get crazy. The Bachlorette party had certain things they needed to do. They asked me if I would give the bride a lap dance, I suddenly had the image of the bride screaming “MY EYES!! OH GOD! MY EYES!!!!” and quickly said no. I did agree to show them my underwear and I opened my pants and showed them my briefs. Martyr let the bride feel his abs which lasted for a while. And Raven wound up doing a body shot on the bride. Finally toward the end I had to serenade the bride so I sang “Talk Dirty To Me” by Poison. She joined me on stage and I wound up slapping her ass while singing the chorus, everyone was whooping and hollering not to mention singing along. It was a real blast.

Finally we decided to head out, I called Golden Child and crew to let them know we would be heading out to Plunge. I was in state when we headed over. The drive over was allot of fun. I tell One True Matt that hes ridding the bitch seat to which he replied in his gayest voice “Best seat in the house!” I was dying laughing.

Love Pirate was telling us tales of when he first started sarging which are always fun. Not to mention Raven and Martyr were just cracking jokes making all of us laugh. This would be an amazing night, I just new it. We arrived at Plunge and Love Pirate pulled two girls to let us accompany them inside. But as I reached into my wallet, I realized I had left both my license and credit card at the bar of Second on Second due to the fact that I opened a tab. So I had to jump in a cab and head all the way back to pick it up. By the time I got back everyone was inside, as I walked to plunge I heard people whisper “its the king” behind me. I was not in state and I was nervous I wouldn’t get in. I had no choice, I had to do something about this.

I saw two black girls walking up to the end of the line, so I went up and with the best smile and puppy dog eyes, I asked them If I could walk in with them. They smiled and put their arms around me. I truly was a king! Yes I walked into plunge with two hot black girls on either arm! Of course they wouldn’t let me wear my crown in Plunge (yeah New York lounges are so snobby) but I didn’t care, although it would have made interactions a shit load easier. People just loved that thing.

I started to get the suspicion that the two black girls were gold diggers or um something a bit more professional. First off one right off the bat went sexual on me which doesn’t mean anything but she asked me if I had a room in the hotel. Okay maybe the nimbus was so high that I was getting women interested in me by just standing there. In the elevator I had my hand on the railing, one of the girls leaned back and my hand brushed her ass. She gave me a come hither look and smiled. Then she said

“Baby your going to need money to be with me..” and gave me the international gold digger sign. In my head I was just thinking. Yeah right like I would spend money on you.

Once we got in, I ditched my ladies and found the guys. I was out of state and new I had to open. So in front of One True Matt and Raven I turned and opened a two set.

Me: hey guys, just wanted to say your dresses are lovely, very sex in the city

HB7’s: Uh thanks

Me: Yeah my name is Warlock what’s yours?

HB7’s: blee blah

After that well it went down hill, they eventually just ignored me and turned their backs to me. Oh well. I knew it wouldn’t hook anyway my energy was really low. I pointed at a 4 set and told Matt that he should go in and without a beat he did. He seemed to be doing pretty well. Jason eventually winged him. I spoke to Love Pirate and then decided to go into the set.

I just walked up and said whats up. I didn’t feel like doing the usual “hey have you seen Michelle line”. I mean the group was large enough that I didn’t have to pretend that I wasn’t being social. As I come in Matt laughs out loud at first I thought it was because of my rough entrance but it turns out that every time he was trying to eject someone would come in. After just speaking to them for 3 minutes i realized why he wanted to eject, they were insanely boring. Or maybe I was the one who was boring who knows. No wait I was because I was still refusing to lead the interaction and if you don’t lead thats when you get boring ass interactions. I need to work on that, I need to force myself into leading.

Another problem encountered was that the girls were leaving the next day. Most of them were from Florida and came to New York for the Sex and The City weekend. Yeah i know what your probably thinking, this would have been a great way to close. But your talking to a guy who had yet to kiss close, pulling seemed like something someone else could do not me. But this is yet another limiting belief I need to get over.

After that Martyr came by and told us to push him into a set due to his massive AA. We did and he of course hooked but ejected for no reason. We then spot a two set and tell Raven he should open because its his turn. We can see he has AA so we just keep repeating do it, over and over again. We don’t let him give us excuses or let him change the subject, we just say do it. Finally he does and really hooks this one girl. Then another PUA comes in out of nowhere and enters his set to wing him. The guy isn’t doing that bad but the boyfriend of the obstacle comes in and things begin to get tense, plus Raven isn’t escalating but I have to admit I would have done the same, there were allot of things working against him. Finally he ejects and we talk about the dynamics of the set he was in where for a bit.

At this point Golden Child and The Judge arrive! Both looking pimped out and ready to take on the world. We all talk for a bit and they start going into sets. Its really a treat to watch these guys work, allot of their sets are smooth that you forget why your in the club to begin with cause your so entertained by watching them.

I soon got into state and everything became a blur. I remember walking around plunge just saying hi to every attractive woman I saw. I said it with a smile and enthusiasm and they responded in kind. Soon I found myself near the outskirts of the hot room when I bumped into Golden Child and The Judge in set with two very hot HB7’s. Golden Child called me over and asked me to show them my fire wallet which I did to their amazement. They make me do it again when I do one of them stands behind me to see how the trick works.

HB7: Oh thats so gay!

Me: What are you talking about? Gay? What are you high?

Golden Child: Thats not gay! Whats wrong with you its his birthday!

HB7: Oh its your birthday? Then its not gay, its really cool.

Golden Child: Yo doesn’t my boy look pimp here?

HB7: Yeah he also looks a little like a pot head

Me: Its the glasses right, its all about the glasses

HB7: Nah its the beard

Me: Hey this is the tash of glory

They all start cracking up.

I wind up just talking to the girl and she begins throwing out that she is an “old fashioned girl” which of course translates to “I’ve made out with guys in bars before but I really want a boyfriend”. Im in the zone and say:

Me: Oh thats such crap women don’t want an old fashioned guy

HB7: No way! Of course they do!

Me: I know so many guys who have screwed up dates by buying women flowers

HB7: Yeah but it depends on how you do it

Me: Do you know whats the most romantic thing I’ve done?

HB7: What?

Me: Well back when I was 18 I was trying to get together with my x, so i found out that her favorite meal was lemon fried shrimp, I didn’t know how to cook so I invited all my friends over and some how we figured out how to make it., then I made a candle light picnic in my back yard and when she arrived I opened up the garage door with the remote and told her to come in. So the first thing she saw when she walked in was me in a suit and the picnic with candle light.

HB7: Awww your a romantic!

Me: I’m such a dork

HB7: NO WAY! Did she take you back?

Me: Of course we lasted for 3 years

HB7: Awww

These are the best pick ups, when your doing things on the fly. When you take a risk, remember fortune favors the bold. I could see an emotional spike in her. At that point Golden Child suggested we go back to the bar to see their friends. Turns out they were celebrating a friends birthday. I put my arm out and HB8 complies and interlocks her hand through my shoulder.

I’m quickly introduced to the rest of the girls, its a rather large group of 7 but they are taking care of themselves and creating mini groups. I’m holding hands with my target at this point. Nothing is awkward, everything is smooth. I’m introduced to a slender blond HB7 dressed in blue. My original target gets distracted and suddenly I’m talking to the Blue HB7 (who is from Baltimore). The conversation is interesting, we are kinoing like crazy, we even do some dirty dancing. At one point this gets dropped into the conversation

HB 7 Blue: Oh my god I think someone just grabbed my ass! I liked it!

I grab her ass.

Me: Wow thats firm

HB7 Blue: I teach yoga.

The girls want to bounce to the downstairs lounge and want us to come. Golden Child is on the fence, we all go back and forth eventually letting them go. In the end they wind up coming back because its dead at the bar downstairs.

Everyone disappears again. I wind up talking to Love Pirate, he asks me if I’m going to go for HB Blue, I say yes, he tells me to close it. Love Pirate looked really tired and a little frustrated, I could tell he was probably pretty beat. I spoke to Raven for a bit and bumped into other PUA’s then I find Golden Child in a 3 set, hes just leaning back while some chodes are trying to steal the set but failing miserably.

They eject and he tools the crap out of them to the girls. They HB’s are laughing their heads off as he imitates their chody behavior. I get introduced and once again im asked to show them the fire wallet, as I take it out of my pocket the HB8 Blond squeals

HB8: Oh I saw you! Light my cigarette!!

I place the cigarette in my mouth, turn on the fire wallet and light it, then hand it back to her. I feel like a bad ass doing it, and I have done a mayor DHV because I’m getting googly eyes all around. I’m asked to do it again and I refuse at first busting on them but eventually concede and do it again. There are squeals of delight all around me.

I dig this one girl who has allot of wicked tattoos, Golden asks me whats in the bag, I pull out my video camera and he flips out. We take videos of the girls wishing me a happy birthday, at one point I ask the tattoo girl for a birthday kiss, she smiles and tells me shes married. I reply with…

Me: On the cheek! God! Its all about you isn’t it

She busts out laughing. Suddenly chody husband appears and their other friend who at first I was impressed by because of her massive fake tits but then I saw her face and it was like plastic surgery gone wrong.

Golden is trying to lead the conversation of them bouncing but its clear one the girls is just being difficult because she can. Oh well her loss we bounce and find the birthday girls who are now being sarged by wannabe VH1 metrosexuals. We take two girls (one my original target) and start the video camera the girls are going crazy. One girl is the camera man, Golden is the host and I suddenly get a peck on the cheek from my target, we are all just flirting and having a good time.

I tell my target I want a birthday kiss from her on camera, she starts in on how shes old fashion, I grab her face and kiss her on the cheek (didn’t know how to go with it, maybe i should have gone for the make out). Her friend tells her to kiss me on the lips, she says that shes old fashioned, her friend replies since when! I hug her and tell them I love her anyway, she whispers in my ear something about being old fashioned, the sexual tension between us is palpable. Were holding hands.

Suddenly Cupcake also known as birthday girl arrives, we record a really sexually charged conversation between her and golden child. She is giving him serious fuck me eyes. I have it on tape, too bad I cant post it. Her friend then starts recording her cleavage and up her skirt. Its getting freaking crazy, I can tell that if golden child wants to, he could probably do a threesome with both girls. I dont know just a gut feeling here.

Eventually I am left alone with my target, I deploy the claw and she is very complacent. Shes tooling the metrosexuals. I am inches away from her face. And yet I don’t go for it! I should have! I should have fucking kissed her but I was to chicken shit to do it. I will always regret that but its a good lesson because now I will always go for the kiss.

Anyway she gets dragged away by her friend and the metro’s to sit at the ludicrous priced table. I walk around to find The Judge and Golden Child in a two set, they spot me and throw me in front of these two gorgeous girls. One of them the blond anorexic girl gives me a sneer pretty much saying “Oh look its a fat one, i hope he doesn’t think he can hit on me”

I’m at a loss for words because I felt thrown in, I look back and see Golden give me the international, TALK hand motion. I throw out this little gem.

Me: Huh, so what do you guys do.

HB7: Oh well I work in marketing but SHES A MODEL!!

and points to her, the girl gives me a zoolander look. I look at her and without missing a beat say.

Me: Oh what like a hand model?

They are completely flabbergasted.

HB7: WHAT? Whats wrong with you? How can you say that?! Look at her!

Me: Have you seen these hands? (I grab her hands) These are gorgeous hands! I just want to kiss them…

She yanks her hands away. Suddenly were interrupted by someone wanting a light. I take out my fire wallet but its out of juice, so i had to fake not finding matches in my “wallet” and hand them a real lighter, I thought about giving them the shocking lighter but I didn’t feel like getting my ass kicked.

I bump into Caramel and her friend Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit doesn’t recognize me at first, I kind of regret not using this to my advantage and playing a prank on her but oh well say la ve. We talk a bit, Caramel asks about One True Matt but he has already bailed. They wind up entering a two set of some really cool Indian guys.

The Judge and Golden Child are in set in front of me. I watch them for about 15 minutes work the sets. Both have solid game that I aspire to have one day. I know I’m progressing but I want to be smooth like these guys. Soon Warlock, Soon…

Anyhoo the guys eventually eject and go to find more sets. I walk around a bit just soaking in the atmosphere. As I walk I spot HB Blue talking to some chode. I jump in, hug her and just take her away!
HA! I am the shit!

Im leading her to her friends and shes telling me

“Okay im just following you”

While she holds my hand.

I take her to her friends and drop her off. Then I walk and open a one set by telling a girl shes hot. Shes from Canada and leave tomorrow. But shes very responsive but I eject, mostly cause I think its not worth talking to a girl who is leaving the country the next day. I know retarded. I bump into Love Pirate and introduce them, I talk to her friends who are being snobby to me. But I don’t give a shit.

I walk back to the bar and find HB Blue and Cupcake huddled in a corner. I ask them whats wrong, turns out the metrosexuals left the table and told them to watch their drinks. The manager comes over and tells them they have to pay $400 for a bottle of vodka and they cant leave. Their trapped in the club and freaking out. I tell them to calm down, that I will take care of it.

I go off to find Love Pirate to see what we can do, I know that he knows people at Plunge. As I look for him I spot one of the Metrosexuals and explain the situation to him, he tells me they will talk to the manager.

I go back and bump into the girls by the elevators. I tell them that everything is taken care of and they have nothing to worry about. HB Blue melts.


She gives me this look of pure love. I am a protector of loved ones. I am the man.
She tells me they are going to another bar and tells me I should give her my number then says
“No I will give you mine” she takes my phone and programs it in, then she calls herself put her purse on my chest so i can feel the vibration.

I give her a kiss on the cheek and shes close to my lips. I look at her and I say to myself.

What am I a fucking idiot?

And I kiss her. She gives me a look of pure lust and kisses me back quickly.

BOING! I have a boner!

“You New York boys are naughty” she says

“I know” I reply

Looking back now, I should have said

“Naughty? Thats not naughty, this is naughty” grabbed her and made out with her. Then I should have told her that we should go to her room. But I didnt,

She tells me shes going to see her friends and goes to her friends. I stand there grinning like an idiot. Raven passes by, I grab him and say…

“Dude! I just kissed a girl!!”

He smiles and replies

“Yeah me too”

I hug him (no homo) and tell him how proud I am of him. The girls get lost in the crowd thats rushing to the elevators, I never see them again.

I run and tell Caramel who freaks out and gives me a hug. Mozeltov! She squeals!I tell the Judge and Golden Child who give me high fives and tell me I’m progressing. We then decide to bounce, the Judge has gotten a call from one of his pivots. Hes on a mission from God! We bolt out of the club and walk a few blocks trying to hail a cab. Caramel and Jessica Rabbit agree to meet us at the location.

We get to the rondevu, argue with the cab driver who scams us out of the fare (i pay with my credit card and then he acts like it didn’t go through when i saw an approval page). Finally we all meet up, I now understand why The Judge was so gun ho to meet her.

Holy fuck guys! This chick was smoking hot! She was just my type, nerdy looking but really hot, plus goofy. Plus she seemed like a cool person. My hat is off to you my good judge.

We head to Sutton Place but its pretty weak. By this point the energy was dying and I was starving we we bail and go to the dinner down the road and sit to recap the night. As were talking the Judge gets up and tells us he will be right back. 5 minutes later he returns with a cute brunette in tow. Wow!
Golden Child will not be upstaged, he goes out and scores a girls number.

As we sit and eat and laugh, i look over and see Raven laid back in his chair enjoying his conversation with Martyr. I see The Judge sarging his girl and the googly eyes are in full effect. I see Golden Child scanning the street and dinner for more targets. I see Caramel and Jessica Rabbit giggling while they eat their fries. This is why I go out, this is why I sarge. Life is sweet.

Martyr, Raven, Caramel and Jessica Rabbit leave, while I order dessert. As I bite down on my chocolate cake, The Judges girl squeals and begins to sing me happy birthday, the entire dinner joins in. I am beat red. Finally we call it a night. The Judge walks out his lady. And I part ways with them both.

On the subway ride home I am dozing off, I think about sarging. I think about the googly eyes women give me. I am a sexual being. I suddenly feel something on my leg. I open my eyes to see a gay mans hand on my knee. I slap his hand away and walk to the next car. Like I say to the ladies, I am not some piece of meat

Lets Sum Up Shall We

Sticking Points

1)I should stay in sets till I close
2)I should push the sexual escalation
3)I should overcome my social programing

Bonus Points

1)Amazing DHV
2)Great Storytelling
4)I number closed
5)Hard kino (no pun intended)

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Caramel’s Night Out (published 06.02.08)

June 10, 2008 at 2:48 pm (Field Report)

It had been a horrible week for me. My work load had doubled due to so many coworkers being out either on vacation or sick leave. Ad to this my landlord and I got into a heated argument about my apartment. I was not happy and it was the weekend of my birthday.

But it was Friday and I actively trying to overcome my depression. It was an uphill battle, if you cant feel comfortable in your own home then where can you? After work I decided to grab a drink with my coworkers due to it being my birthday. One of my coworkers was a natural but he was also a AMOG and has been increasingly aggressive toward me since he found out I was a member of the community. He began tooling me right off the bat, about how I was dressed. I tried to play it off and I think I showed a real indifference to his comments. But internally I became self conscious. Everything felt awkward and tight.

At the bar I was not in state, my energy was very low, my landlord called me and the conversation was very tense. I became tense and frustrated. I was upset that I was upset. I hate when people affect my state. I actively tried to fight it and for the most part I won, but even though I was not depressed I also had no energy. The Continental Bar is a real dive but for the price of the drinks its constantly full of people. Today was the premiere of Sex in The City and the women were out in droves. It was packed full of ladies. But I had no interest in approaching, I just wanted to punch my landlord in the face and drive off to the sunset.

I also was not pleased the the topic of conversation the natural kept bringing up was how much I creeped out the female coworkers which is why none of them came with us. Now normally this wouldn’t bother me, I creeped them out in my AFC days or when I first started learning and made the mistake of trying material on them (so i was damned forever in their eyes), but since I had so many things on my mind that didn’t help me feel any better.

The natural soon left and after a bit of singing with my coworkers to the jukebox songs (by the way the new jukebox sucks ass). I got a call from Raven and a text from Caramel, they would meet me at Legion Headquarters. Raven told me Shiz would not being going out with us, no reason was given, oh well we certainly could have used him that night. Martyr decided to hit Connecticut to sarge with The Undertaker. Man sarging in new locations, awesome.

I met up with Raven and Caramel. The energy was bad, for everyone, none of us were thrilled to be out. I tried to get into state and get my energy up but it was futile, as we took the train to plunge everything seemed to either remind us of our negative thoughts or cause alienation or irritation between us. Every time Raven would perk up, my low energy would bring him down and every time my energy went up his went down. Its like we couldn’t find our balance. It was very frustrating.

We got to plunge but they were only letting couples in and we were too chicken to as a girl to help us inside. The decision was made to go to a bar I really hate, Gas Light!. I hate this place because:

1)Has a flat screen TV on sports and allot of people wind up either wanting to talk about sports or getting distracted while you talk.

2)The music fluctuates sometimes its bearable but other times its blaring.

3)Its always a sausage fest in there.

Two seconds into the bar, Caramel was swarmed by a group of guys who proceeded to buy her drinks and comparing her to Jennifer Hudson. At least someone has some game tonight I thought.

I don’t want to say I had AA at gaslight, cause I didn’t, it wasn’t fear, it was ambivalence. I just didn’t have the energy to get into state and I felt it would be useless to approach if I was not in state. I was probably rationalizing but I don’t know. Raven also didn’t approach. Caramel finished getting her drinks and we decided to bounce.

We left for Redemption, the area was pretty dead, everyone was in the meat packing district due to the sex and the city movie. We hung around a few minutes but no one approached. We hit Sutton Place next, which is an okay location but lately I haven’t been digging the crowd, its very preppy. Plus they wont let me wear my fedora, which was the case this time. So i didn’t wear it, inside, in the upstairs bar though that was a different story. Last time the bouncer had let me wear it upstairs.

We go in and at this point were just marching in defeated. I was a little irked at myself. We walk in and I spot a bachelorette party. The bride is wearing her veil and a blinking blue ring. I decide to call Martyr:

Martyr: Hey whats up?

Me: Dude I’m choding out, where at Sutton Place and I’m too beat to approach.

Martyr: Hmm well think of it this way, your an awesome human being and do you really want to deny people from experiencing your awesomeness? Do you really want to do that?

Me: lol okay I better go.

Martyr: Okay see ya!

I tell the guys I will be right back, I proudly march over, I take a gigantic table and move it out of my way. I have no fear, I have to open one set tonight I will not be a complete chode. I go over and say

Me: Hey guys, real quick, first off congratulations…

Bride: Thanks!

Me: Your welcome, but I simply have to know, where did you ever find that ring?

They are loving me, they go into how they got the ring at Tiffanie’s, its a 5 set and they are all being incredibly nice. Turns out they are from England, the accent is such a turn on. But during the conversation I start to get this sinking feeling, all I can think of is how I wont be able to keep this up. I feel fear in my heart and eject.

One girl a cute HB brides maid is actually disappointed when I leave. I head back and just feel bewildered by my actions. This is starting to be a sticking point, fear of loosing the interaction because I enjoy it so much I don’t want to fuck it up. So I eject instead.

I head back to Caramel and Raven, as I speak to Raven about what happened. Caramel turns and opens a tall blond southern boy. Caramel is working the set well, at first he was a little tipsy but he sobered up pretty quickly. You could tell he was into her but she was making a classic mistake. She didn’t kino so the interaction eventually died out

One day I want to write a manual for women to pick up guys.

So it was clear neither of us would sarge. We were all a little disappointed in ourselves. Caramel said that sometimes we should just stay home because we all need a break from sarging. I disagreed, I believe that we need to push ourselves to go out even if we don’t get results. I don’t want to ever be complacent again. Raven just felt that we all have off nights and maybe hes right.

In the end I was not disappointed in the night, in fact I felt relieved one bad night equals a great night the next outing. And the next day would be my birthday celebration.

Lets Sum Up Shall We?

Sticking Points

1)Need to get the energy up regardless of the situation

2)Need to approach even if I don’t have a high state

3)Need to stop prematurely ejecting

4)Need to stop giving a crap about what other people think

Bonus Points

1)Didn’t show my coworkers that I was upset, this is a good tool to use in shit tests

2)I opened a set despite my negative emotions and it hooked!

3)Didn’t let a off night ruing my optimism

4)Had some good banter moments in my set (smiled and had decent body language too)

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