Episode III Revenge of The Super Freaks (Published 4.24.08)

June 10, 2008 at 2:25 pm (Field Report)

It was 11pm and I was meeting Caramel at Virgin Records. We had decided to meet so late because of the fact that we had gone to the con together and seen “Forgetting Sara Marshall”, a very funny flick guys. The whole day was a blur of celebrities and very hot geek girls.

I was wired, today I promised myself I would push my sets. I met with Caramel who told me was very tired, it was a hell of a weekend for her. We got word from Martyr that the original plan of hitting The Apt was gone a buried. The guys were turned away cause they got there to late and it was full.

So we were going to meet at Gas Light. I had brought gifts from the con for the guys. For Raven I had picked up one of my favorite graphic novels called “American Born Chinese” Raven reminded me of the main character. For Martyr I got a necklace with a sword pendent, I thought it would compliment him well. And for Shiznets I had the best of all, The Mystery Goggles! I had found them at a booth that sold swords and other weapons. I knew they would be a great peacocking tool.

We arrived at Gas Light and the place was pretty packed and dark. I honestly didn’t dig the place. The music was a little to loud and I could barely see around the venue. Caramel was greeted warmly by the rest of the crew.

“Wow there are some hotties in this place” Caramel stated

“No sweety, eyes over here!” Martyr replied pointing to himself

Caramel burst out laughing, yeah I knew it was going be a good night.

The guys loved their gifts. When Shiznets put on the goggles I knew I had made the right choice. He made those goggles work. He approached a HB Indian girl and she immediately went for them. Wow its just like the show I said in glee.

I looked to my left and saw a HB 6.

“Caramel follow my lead”

I tapped her on the shoulder and threw out my James Bond opener. It hit and we were beginning the first stages of the set, when I was pulled away by shiznets. He had grabbed me to wing him, or so I thought, he just wanted me to pop in for a comment. Then he looked at me and told me to eject. To which I did.

My set had been blown by Shiznets, I didn’t mind I mean I only opened it as a warm up. We all decided to bounce, Shiznets had ejected from his set. He told us that he plowed through shit tests but in the end he just sarged her to make a point that he could. He wasn’t interested in her.

So we bounced. We decided to hit the Budah Bar, on the way there we spotted two girls being sarged by two English blokes. Its funny but just from their body language I could tell they didn’t know the girls. Shiznets opened the set with his “natural” opener.

These suckers didn’t stand a chance. Shiznets sarged one girl and I did the other while Caramel distracted the guys with Raven. Martyr winged both Shiznets and I. I did pretty good, using my new found stacking skills, I jumped from topic to topic with my target. I also did some small light kino but I wasn’t building attraction. When the English blokes would try to chime in Martyr or Caramel would deflect them. At one point Martyr stepped in front of one of the English guys, completely shutting him out of the conversation.

It was a thing of beauty. We all finally ejected with no number close. Martyr asked me why I didn’t number close my target, I said because there was no attraction. Shiznets had kinoed his target but said he didn’t close because he wasn’t really attracted to her. This I find ironic because I dug his target more than mine.

Oh well what can you do? So we go in search of “The Budah Bar”. Man what a wild goose chase! We walked around for 20 minutes looking for this place. What’s cool is that unlike previous reports, Im not in my heading wondering what sort of value I have. I’m just having fun joking around with the gang.

“Were in the nexus of the universe!” I scream as we try to find 12th street. At one point we are discussing strategy and Caramel smiles and says

“Its like piercing the veil!”

We all burst out laughing, I feel alive, I am happy. This is paradise for me, sarging with good friends and having an awesome time. We finally find Budah Bar it was a block down from Gas Light, basically we walked around like asses for 20 minutes. Unfortunately the line for it is gigantic!

We decide to drive to West 4th. Caramel suggests “Off The Wagon” but we all look away in shame and disgust.

“What’s wrong with off the wagon?” Caramel asks

“None of us have had good experiences there” I reply

“Yeah its too crowded and full of frat boys” Shiznets replies

” I hate it, it’s all guys” Raven states

“I got hit on by a guy last time I went there” Martyr says with an embarrassed face.

We all laughed our asses off! So we decide to hit a Hookah Bar, Caramel says that its target rich.

On the way to Martyrs car I’m told that its my turn to open a set. I groan and approach a mixed two set in front of me. This was a mistake, apparently while we had been talking game, they had been clearly ease dropping. Of course I was so self involved that I didn’t see this so I threw out my village people opener.

The guy replies sarcastically

“How many letters are in YMCA, 4” and as he counts them down he gives me the finger.

Yeah I was tooled. Shiznets tried to back me to make it look less obvious. But the damage was done. I was pretty ticked by this. I don’t know why but when a guy tools me, it just gets to me. I don’t give a crap when women do it because I’m very desensitized after so many rejections from women. But when guys tools me it makes me feel like that kid I was in 8th grade and being bullied. After a few minutes, I cooled off though.

When we get to the hookah bar however we are denied access.

“You guys don’t have enough girls” the bouncer states.

Caramel is shocked. She had never had that problem before, welcome to the life of a male New Yorker I stated. I was worried we wouldn’t find a venue when Martyrs friend AFC Steve calls. He states theres a bar that is target rich. So we head over there. I knew I had found a place I enjoyed. It was just right, lots of sets, not to crowded and the music was at a decent volume. We head in and I make the line for the bathroom, while there a HB7 walks up behind me.

“You can go ahead of me when this person comes out, you need it more than I do”

“Oh my god thanks”

“No prob, man this sucks how can they have one bathroom for the same gender”

“I know!”

“Its unAmerican!”

~laughs~ “yeah!”

“That is lets burn mother fucking place down!”

This girl could not stop laughing. Finally the bathroom is free and she bails afterward. I later see her with some guy. I figure he’s her boyfriend. Did not even phase me. I go outside to talk to Martyr and Shiznets. As were talking I spot two HB8’s looking at Shiznet or rather his goggles. I tell him theres a set behind him. He tells me he will approach in a second and turns but when he does like a blue a guy opens his set.

From the way he approached the set, I instantly knew something was up.

The guys state that they are hungry. So I decide to go back upstairs and get Caramel and Raven. When I get up there however, I see them in set! With two Trini HB 7’s. Caramel is from Trinidad so they loved her, once again The Legion’s secret weapon had struck.

I am introduced to the set and instantly start conversations. Raven is doing the ring routine. My target asks about her ring, so i take her hand and try to continue it as best as i can recall. At one point i run my fingers down her arm, she pulls away a little, this would have been an IOD but I didn’t care so it didn’t affect me. If that happens again Ill just say “hey now don’t get any ideas…”

At one point Caramel says.

“Can we sit on the couches?”

GENIUS! This woman had our set move to a new location and I immediately sat down next to my target while Raven sat across his. Caramel talked to us for a few minutes then slowly exited the set. Ninjas aren’t this good!
Raven was the bomb, He had his girl leaning into him from across the table. He had a real alpha stance, very GQ. Ravens strength is attraction, he really knows how to start building it, something I am a little iffy on.

I begin my interaction talking about Puerto Rico, that then transitions to speaking spanish. My target claims she can speak Spanish but I have to go slow. So I tell her to translate this. I start speaking Spanish as fast as I can.

“Nooo! Stop it!” She laughs

“What? Oh my god that was so easy to translate it?” I smile back

She asks me to do it again and I talk even faster which gets more laughter.
Finally I decide to go slow and tell her that I think she has a pretty smile. Which gets an awww and a blush. We talk allot and s we do so I start picturing what shiznets does to kino, so i begin light kino, I touch her elbow (which according to the body language book is an area of comfort), tap her upper arm and put my arm behind her and play with her hair. I was in uncharted waters, I was walking blind I had no idea what I was doing but I felt I had to push through. I said to myself that if the set went bad and i got slapped then at the very least I would know what NOT to do.

To my surprise she didnt slap me. A few times she did jump a little. At this point I did not pull back but made fun of her for it. I called her jumpy and asked her friend if she was always this sensitive. This gave me an idea, I decided to use a Ross Jeffries trick I saw on You Tube,

“Do you know what i learned the other day about energy?”


“ I learned about energy centers like for example here…”

I touch the area I saw Jefferies touch in his video, she starts to spasm.

“…is an energy chakra, so there is a sensitive energy spot, can you feel that?”

“yeah” she says while spasming and giggling.

“Theres also one in the back” I removed my hand from the base of her neck and touch her lower back, I did feel her bra on the way down.

“Right here..” I said as i touched her back, she jumped and blushed.

Raven looked over at me and gave me the “Dude your awesome! Go for it!” look. I thought about kiss closing. I even asked her.

“Do you think your a good kisser?”

“no” with a small smile

“That sucks, okay your loosing me!” and I pull away, she laughs.

At this point I play the 5 question game with her and she flips out, she pulls her friend and wants me to do it. I almost fell for that trap and realize that if I do not only will I fall into the dancing monkey frame but I would be stealing

Ravens work. So I say..

“You know what, Raven why don’t you do the 5 question game”

He goes into it with his target and gets a great reaction. At this point I know I’m not going to kiss close my girl, I realize that im not isolated enough. I also notice the girls doing their girl code to each other. Not sure if it was good or bad, So I look over at Raven and say..

“You want to eject?”


“close dude”

Raven takes out his phone and gets her number. I do the same, I tell her I“m calling her Jumpy. Because she jumps so much. She really responded well to this. Heres the kicker. I don’t remember her name!

As we say our goodbye Raven pulls the smoothest move. He gives his target a twirl. Yeah we were good.

When we got outside to tell the guys, I saw them finishing up a set, they were still talking to their girls. I also noticed those same chodes that tried to approach them a few feet away talking and roaming the room. I get introduced to one of the girls. We shake hands and I remember a fact of the book I’m reading.

“Hey so did you know you just tried to dominate me?”


“Yeah im reading this book on body language and in business…” I go into the spiel of how you shake hands says allot on a subconcious level. This chick flips out and when i shake her friends hand she is looking to see the reaction. It was a big attraction switch I flipped on accident. Shiznets is going nuts over this he wants me to tell him more about this new “routine”.

Everyone except Caramel decides to bounce to the dinner next door, shes tired and want to head home. Apparently while we were in set, she came down the stairs and told Martyr and Shiznets

“You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, Warlock and Raven have locked in their targets!”

We all said our goodbyes and she bounced. Then we hit the dinner and just basked in the glory of our victories. The guys tell me the story of their PUA battle over their targets. Shiznets at one point says.

“Man we were dicks, we AMOG’d them, we were in the wrong”

“No” I reply “They threw down the gauntlet when they tried to tool you by saying you were using Mystery Method shit, they asked for it”

This lead into the the funniest moment of the night, we started talking about being tooled and the topic of the guy handing out his friends business cards as a way to tool guys came up. Martyr throws down the business card and says

“Yeah we should call her”

A moment of silence passes as it dawns on us….

Shiznets grabs her number and calls, getting her work voice mail. Then proceeds to make animal noises on the phone. We are all dying.

“Give me the card” I say. Its time to show this girl what happens when you mess with the legion or rather get her mad at her friend for trying to tool us.
When I get voice mail this is what I say in my best Keanue Reeves imitation.

“Hey HB this is Pacco, Im calling cause your friend gave me your card. He said you were easy and that you would have sex with me. I really like sex but only if you wear a paper bag over your face. He said you were pretty ugly. He also said I could move in with you, so I’m going to grab my stuff from my place. I hope you like moms because she will be living with us. I hope you don’t mind fleas because I have allot of fleas. Anyway I will be passing by your apartment in my red camarao so ill see you there!”

Martyr was almost peeing his pants.

This was the end of the night, but it was the best way to end the night. I told Shiznets to crash at my place because he had missed his train. As we left the dinner a argument broke out between a drunk girl and some lady. Also some guy puked all over his table.

What a night! We all number closed and had a great time doing it. God I love this new life…

Lets sum up shall we?

Sticking Points
1)I’m having problems building attraction
2)I am not opening as much as I want to
3)I didn’t isolate my target
4)I am not push pulling enough

Bonus Points
1)I pushed my sets
2)I did not go blank and stacked
3)I kinoed my target
4)I number closed!


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