Sarge Another Day (Published 04.21.08)

June 10, 2008 at 2:22 pm (Field Report)

This is probably the first field report I really dont want to write but I know that once I chronical everything that took place tonight I will grow as an individual. (plus its fucking long)

It had been a long but decent week at work and school. It was Thursday and I would not be going to work the following day. I had taken the Friday off to attend the New York Comic Con. Once a year I get to attend the con as press and go for free.

T-Bone had called me on Wednesday to chat. We had an amazing conversation about pick up, the community and life in general. During it T-Bone mentioned that Shiznets had asked him is he was willing to sarge on Thursday night. I said I was up for it and new that Raven would be as well.

The plans were put into motion. And Thursday night I met Raven at Union Square, we hit out usual dinner to grab a bite to eat. Raven told me he went to a psychic because of an assignment from the Style Life Challenge. He made the mistake of going to a 10 dollar “psychic” who (what a shocker) was really bad.

We were having a good time, we talked about our new “fame” on the boards as the Legion of Super Freaks, about my posts, about sarging and just really learning about our lives. At one point we began to do try to read peoples body language in the dinner. I figured out who was a couple, who wasnt, who was friends with who, ect. At one point one couple walks in….

Raven says “oh those two are college kids, they go to NYU or Colombia. ”

“I dont think they are a couple, if they are they have been going out for over a year at least”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because they are not touching each other. They also are giving each other physical space, like they know their boundaries”

We decide to ask them, they were very amused at what we were doing, turns out we were pretty close but yet off, the guy was a grad student but didnt go to any of the schools. Later on I saw her put her leg under the table on the seat next to him to touch him. So yeah definitely a couple.

I took Raven to a shoe shop in Union Square and point to the shoes. I told him my theory on what a good shoe is and what a bad shoe is. Basically you have to act like your buying a sports car, the sleeker the shoe looks the better.

At this point Shiznets arrives. As always he is in a awesome mood, turns out he cemented his day 2 with the Asian HB in my previous report. We decide to hit the famous Beauty Bar. What I love about being in the LOSF is that we really just have a good time, there is no presure to live up to others expectations. Allot of “PUA’s” I have met before are such value takers that if you dont preform to their standards will just ignore you like a psycho x-girlfriend. Its not like that in The Legion were friends first and PUA’s second.

Beauty Bar does not live up to the hype, man what a crock of shit. The place was so tiny and really freaking dead. There were only two sets and they were not worth approaching. 30 seconds after we went in we were out.

We decided to hit Earth a lounge that is next to park. But as we got on the subway I mention how I still had the free tickets to Rick’s strip bar on 33rd street. Both Raven and Shiznets start this conversation

Shiznets: wow….hmm….uh…i…mean…i..guess…i could…go (looks at raven with hope in his eyes)

Raven: Really? huh…well…Im down.

30 seconds later they are both bouncing up and down the train with anticipation. I was very chilled but also excited, it had been a year since i was at a strip club. I tend to avoid them because a few years back I was a strip club addict. I also worked a car service and would take clients to strip clubs all the time. I felt like i would be the cool level headed guy…oh what i naive fool I would be.

Rick’s is an awesome venue. Its a higher end club but yet still really economical for a strip bar. All the women there are 9’s and 10’s of all nationalities and races. If you know how to work it, its paradise.

When we got in the club I knew this would not be good. It was swamped! Normally you want to go to a strip club earlier like 6 or 7 when there are less customers. I knew the girls would be in business mode, the place was so swamped it was really hard to get seats. They sat us in the front of the stage and right under the blaring speaker.

We were immediately uncomfortable. This eastern european HB8 walks up to Shiznets and starts to kino him. I knew this move, in striper language it meant:

“Hey low value guy, give me money and I will rub my tits in your face while thinking of Vin Diesel and waiting until the song is half way over before leaving or seeing if youll buy me a drink so I can get a bonus for getting a sucker like you to spend 10 dollars on a drink that i wont even touch”

Shiznets told her to talk to me, she of course took this as “I will buy my buddy a lap dance”

So she jumps on me and starts to tear off her top to pressure me into giving her 20 bucks. I stop and her politely say “not right now”. She then tried the same thing with Raven but is completly topless while trying to corral a lap dance. Raven also says no thanks to which she says “No one here wants a dance” and pouts which in stripper language means..

“What the fuck is wrong with you cheapskates? What kind of cheap as weirdos come to a strip club and dont want to give me 20 dollars to shove my tits in your face…assholes”

Then she bails. At this point Martyr (the artist previously known as T-Bone) calls and we tell him where at the club a few minutes later he arrives, we then decide to find a more comfterble section of the club to sit. We wind up relocating a few times before we settle on the back of the club. Well turns out there is just not enough girls to work this club. Because we are just sitting there being ignored by strippers!

Talk about a DLV, I then decided to take matters in my own hands, I saw this HB8 sitting down bored out of her mind. I take her hand and say “This is Raven he thinks you have a beautiful face”.

She smiles but turns out she cant speak much English, apparently her vocabulary consists of hello, do you want a dance? and goodbye. So that interaction did not last long for Raven. Martyr was not comfortable at all in the strip club, it felt like he was a little intimidated by it all.

This is when I see a very very cute HB8 walking around. I immediately knew she was special unlike other strippers she was wearing a very classy dress and a blond wig. Her skin was incredibly white, milk white and she carried herself with class. I called her over.

“Hi, I just want to say you are one of the classiest ladies here”

“thanks” grin with braces.

I took her by the hand and said “This is my buddy Shiznets, hes the best guy ever!”

Shiznets just bolted into his routines. As usual it was very solid game. I noticed allot of it was just talking about anything, kind of like blitzing an enemy target you dont let them access their weapons and scatter them in panic.

She sat down on his leg and wrapped her arms around him. I prayed to not let her shoot into her sales pitch. Thankfully she didn’t.

I sat down next to Martyr and called over Raven who looked like a very stiff and intense statue in the corner. I then saw the woman of my dreams. This girl was a HB11. She was this tall brunnete with smooth skin and an amazing rack, I saw her from across the room and the wolf was howling.

I closed my eyes and began chanting

“I control the wolf”

She looked over at me and smiled.

I CONTROL the wolf

She squeezed her massive beautiful white breasts.


She spanked her ass and moaned.


My will was broken i wanted to break the strip club rule. I wanted to touch her and have her breasts in my face. I wanted to smell her hair and neck.

She walked away. I followed but lost her in the crowd. I felt someone grabbing my arm.

It was a HB7, she was pretty but not my type. I don’t normally go for black girls.

“I want to dance for you” She said and she pinched my nipple.

“Whoa sweety, hold on, you need to wine and dine me first”

“That is wine and dine, i really wanted to grab your cock but were in public”

“Really? wow you know i like having my dick grabbed? man its like we have a connection” I said this sarcastically of course. I thought it was a good reply at the time but it was really lame because I was playing into her sales pitch and painting myself into a corner.

Thankfully I ejected and told her i was trying to find my friends. I regained my senses. I knew i looked like someone who was following his dick, plus i saw her giving some chode a lap dance.

Did i really want to be the guy in line for the ride? The spell was broken and i returned to the guys.

Shiznets was still talking to his target. She was in a real conversation with him. She was completely focused on him.

I sat down with the guys. Strippers would not even give us the time of day at this point, I started to get a horrible feeling in my head. Am I such low value that even a freaking stripper wont even hit on me? A asian HB8 then walked up to Raven. She sat down on him and he went into his routine right away, she began to respond and talk to him. I could see him building attraction.

At this point I fell into a value seeking head space. I kept beating myself up for not being at the level of Shiznets and Raven. They were gaming strippers, I couldn’t even get one to say hello to me.

I really dont want to write what happened next but I have to be honest…

I got so desperate that I called over some HB9 Latina with giant fake tits. She immediately went into her spiel. I cut her off and told her we made a promise with each other that we wouldn’t get a private dance until we actually had a genuine conversation. It was a lame line, she said that if i bought her a drink. I said no to which she responded that I guess i didn’t want to talk.

Now any sane human being would have told her to fuck off long ago. But I was in a very sad and pathetic place. So I broke my rule. I got a lap dance.

Yep. I am a jack ass. It wasn’t even good. She couldn’t even dance. It was so stupid and I hated myself for it.

I sat her down and started talking to her, I thought that if i kept talking I could somehow magically get some attraction but that ship had long sailed, been burned and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. At one point she interrupts me and asks for her money.

God i hate writing this…

So I pay her and CONTINUE TALKING TO HER! Yeah I should get ass tattooed on my forehead. She finally got fed up with me and said she had to work and bailed. Martyr tried to talk to her to save such a hopeless and pathetic set but she wasnt having any of that and bounced.

Suddenly the HB Asian that was all over Raven abruptly got up and left. He told us he screwed up the qualification phase of his interaction and blew out the set.

Shiznets came over with the energy of a five year old on x-mas. He had # closed a stripper. All of us gave him our congrats and told him we were bouncing.

So we did, we got free passes and said our goodbyes to the bouncer. Who had ignored me earlier when i went to greet Martyr.

I felt like a pile of shit. I felt like the ugliest man on the face of the planet. I hated myself for being envious of the guys instead of happy. I hated myself for wanting real success and not getting it.

The guys saw that I was very depressed. Shiznets then tapped me and told me to jump and scream, we did for about a block in a half before we were tired but my negative view still remained. I wanted to sarge to get out these negative emotions and feel allot better. The guys were doing their best to cheer me up and get me out of my negative head space. We walked and talked, Shiznets was wired and bouncing off the walls. The group was in state, except for me, I was struggling with my negative frame. I was resisting feeling depressed. The guys tried to cheer me up and they did to a certain extent. I was just frustrated.

We decided to hit Tonic which granted is a lame bar but it is full of people. As we walked we spoke about how content we were with our team. I asked Martyr how he seems to not run out of things to talk about in a conversation. He quoted Style in that there are threads in a conversation and all you need to do is pull on them.

“It all seems easier said than done”

“It is! Here let me show you, tell me a sentence”

“Um…I feel really emotional right now”

“You know emotions are a funny thing I remember one time..blah blah blah”

“Oh so you harp on a word and just jump out”


He also told me a trick to get a smile out of me. He said that I should picture a woman I was talking to masturbating or some other insane sexual thing. Its so insane your mine just automatically makes you smile.

We entered tonic and it was freaking dead. I was determined to make an approach unfortunately there were no sets. I don’t know why but I am very apprehensive about approaching mixed sets, in reality everyone in our group is except Raven who seems to have little fear with mixed sets and none with seated sets,
As we walked outside we saw a 2 set of HB7.5 standing there. I felt my AA stir but said fuck it and jumped in.

“Hey do you guys known any cool bars around here, not lame like this one (pointed to tonic)”

“Oh were not from here”

Their third friend came out of tonic tipsy. Martyr jumped in and winged me, but I got stumped following a thread to long and got blown out. The bar one of the girls recommended seemed a bit too high class for us.
We then decided to drive down to the village. I was enjoying myself. We decided to hang out more other than just to sarge. Raven and I said we should see “The Forbidden Kingdom”to which Shiznets said he didn’t want to see a piece of shit Jackie Chang film. Of course this sparked a 20 minute debate on good Jackie Chang and Jet Lee films.

As we drove Shiznets and I spoke about what we would be like in 2 years. Shiznets said that in 2 years we would be an unstoppable force in pick up. I talked about my dream of making a pick up dojo in new york and across the country. I wondered how i would get past these sticking points, they seemed so gigantic.
We arrived at Phebes on the walk there Shiznets started playing a game. He would throw out a word and we had to make up a story about that word. Raven had to speak about lamp posts, I wound up talking about tired and Martyr went on a elaborate story about an orange used in a fight.

“Wait is that true?” Shiznets asked

“Of course not! I just made it up”

Phebes was dead. Im serious I have never seen such an empty bar. I saw a two set at the bar and went to order a Pepsi cause I was thirst. I looked over my shoulder and tried to project my voice. I threw out the my little pony opener. The looked at me and blinked, then looked at each other. The replied to my question and did not reject me. But I hadn’t hooked, they were just being polite. I think they saw my nervous and desperate face and felt sorry for me or were intrigued. Martyr tried to wing me because he saw i wasn’t getting past the opener. But It was rough, thinking back I don’t believe the friend of my target received the same amount of attention. We hadn’t hooked and we were ignored after a few minutes.

At least it wasn’t a rude blow out.

We walked out Phebes after a few minutes. We saw a large group of blonds standing outside. Martyr asked them where they were going, if they new any good places around the area. They replied that someone named “Virgil” told them the bar up the street.

“Wait you know Virgil?” Shiznets asked

“Yeaha! Me and Virgil are close” She said sarcastically

“I dont know, I think me and Virgil are closer, we were roomates back in college” I said

“Yeah Virgil said he didn’t like you, he doesn’t consider you close”

“That bastard” I replied

They smiled at us, we decided to join them. So we followed them to the bar.

“Quit following us” They said jokingly

“He you guys need an escort” Martyr replied

“Seriously you girls need to stop stalking us, its getting awkward”

“Hey Virgil, wouldn’t like you guys going to the bar with us”

“Virgil’s gay”

We arrived at the bar and the girls quickly went into the back but we stayed in the front section of the bar. The guys wanted to sarge new targets. I wanted to shoot to the back to sarge the girls as a group. I saw a 3 set and pointed to Raven it was his turn. He was a little hesitant but jumped in with my james bond opener. He seemed to be doing okay but one of the girls was not involved in the conversation and he ejected because he couldn’t build attraction.

We went to the back of the bar and found the other girls, I approached the set with raven, it was a warm set but Martyr and Shiznets didn’t see us go in so they didn’t wing us. Both Raven and I were pretty intimidated by the large group (8 all girl set), they were bantering with us but I went blank and ejected.

I sat with Shiznets and Martyr completely defeated. Martyr saw a German waitress and opened her, he was doing pretty well talking to her, he also did some light kino but didnt escalate. He lasted a long time talking to her and she kinoed him back with some light punches from his negs but she left because she had to get back to work. Still it was a solid interaction.

At this point we decided to call it a night, as we left we said goodbye to the 8 set. I was kicking myself as I went out because I knew if i wasn’t in such a negative head space i could have worked the group.
As we walked out we saw two HB7 standing by the door speaking in French. Both Martyr and Raven decided to open. Shiznets and I decided to walk down the road and wait for them. Not to be slam the guys but we figured none of us were able to solidly hook a set since the strip club, so they would get blown out quickly.
Well to our surprise they hooked. So we waited, waited, and waited. 20 minutes went by and they were still in set! They took pictures and isolated. Both Shiznets and me were fascinated, we watched their body language and saw that Ravens target was closed off, we thought he would loose the set. Well he then wound up getting her laughing and just enjoying his company.

“Man I wish I could be at that level”

“You will be, give it time”

“I don’t know both Raven and I started at the same time”

“Stop comparing yourself to other people, everyone develops at their own pace”

Shiznets that I shouldn’t feel bad, he told me that when he started he would have such horrible nights he would go home and cry. He said that sometimes we just need someone to tell us that it gets better. This really touched me and I seriously wanted to hug this man…no homo.

Shiznets and me discussed my delivery, turns out the problems are…

1)My voice is very low

2)I have low energy

3)I am not leading and giving off a strong vibe

For about 10 minutes we practiced me just saying

“Hey guys, let me ask you something real quick”

We were both having a good time but Shiznets had to call it a night, the train to L.I was a pain. Raven and Martyr where still in set. So I decided to wait for them while Shiznets bailed. I waited another 15 minutes when they finally finished. I gave them my congrats and told them I was proud of them. We discussed the interaction, they both number closed which was awesome. As they drove me to the subway, they noticed I was down and told me it would get better. Raven praised my wing skills which was nice. As I waited for the subway I had no doubt in my mind that I would be sarging the next day. One bag night or HB 10 was not going to discourage me from becoming a master PUA. If I crashed and burned enough times I would be bound to get better. Yes I was depressed but I wasn’t going to let my depression ruin my life. When I got home there was a text message it was Raven “Never think a negative thought, think about where you have come from and how much you have grown, you are destined for greatness”

Lets review shall we?

Sticking Points

1)I am not approaching correctly, my voice (speed and volume) are way off

2)I am not bringing high energy to the interaction

3)I let myself fall into a value seeking mentality

4)I went blank and was not building attraction

Bonus Points

1) I was a good wing and supported my crew

2) In the end I stayed optimistic

3) I kept sarging no matter how bad it got

4) I opened sets even though I had A.A


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