The Adventure Continues (Published 05.12.08)

June 10, 2008 at 2:39 pm (Field Report)

It had been a rough week for me. After my meltdown on my last outing, I had a incident with a coworker. I wound up offending her with a off handed comment and got in some hot water with my supervisor. I felt alienated at my job and socially retarded. It was pretty bad but when the clock hit 5:30 and I left the office I also left anything negative feelings there. I was not my job and I would not let my job dictate my life.

I spent the hours after work reading up on AA, I started boring conversations with strangers and getting my mind in a more positive frame of mind. When Friday finally arrived I decided I was just going to out with no pressure on myself. I was going to have a good time, don’t get me wrong I had goals but If I didn’t achieve them (open 3 sets) I wasn’t going to beat myself up over it. Friday had miserable weather, Caramel called me and told me she didn’t think anyone would be out, I should stay in, she recommended. No! I could not stay in! My social life depended on me going out and putting myself after. Neither Rain, Nor Sleek, Nor Snow will keep the Legion from sarging. Even if I have no idea what sleek is..

I went home after work, got dressed and headed out to Legion Headquarters (Virgin Records). Tonight it would be just Caramel, Raven and Martyr joining me. Shiznets had to stay in Long Island to spend time with friends. I met up with the guys and immediately showed them a new routine I had come up with. The tattoo method!

During the week I was forced to go a trade show for promotional items, while there bored out of my skull I came across a vendor who sold temporary tattoos. I grabbed some free samples and before I came to work I applied a tribal heart tattoo on my left palm, to my surprise it actually glowed in the dark! The gears in my head started to turn. I went out with a assortment of tattoos in my pocket.

I took out a hot lip tattoo and put it on Ravens neck ala Mystery. I then told him my plan, when a woman would ask him about his tattoo he would say that he was with my when I was babysitting my little cousins and they decided to have a temporary tattoo party.

We talked a bit about body language, we all tried to figure out how to body rock (acting as if your about to leave while talking). Martyr seemed to do it more naturally of the group, while Raven and I looked more like we were drunk or being blown by the wind. Caramel then showed up and we decided to hit Plunge. Martyrs told us that he didn’t like how his hair looked, we all thought he was crazy his hair looked great. It turns out Martyr had a rough night on Thursday, he couldn’t open. He had really bad AA and he had trouble keeping up a conversation, he would go blank. He told us he didn’t feel centered and he wasn’t going to be good tonight.

All of us try to dissuade him of these negative thoughts. We park and man is it miserable outside. It is just cold and damp. Its still raining and at points we had to walk against traffic because the puddles were more like lakes. Finally we arrive at plunge and are greeted by one of the bouncers who Caramel befriended. Man what a great feeling to actually not be tooled by a bouncer but welcomed like a buddy.

We get off the elevators to see….a sausage fest. Yeah it was mostly guys. The seating area had more sets but there was no one standing and I felt we would stick out like a sore thumb, so we stuck to the bar area. As were standing there just talking Raven and I start discussing the Judges opener that he came up from reading my last field report. Raven is pretty excited when I tell him about it. He tells me he’s going to open a set and to wing him. He turns and opens a older HB6.5.

Raven: Hey let me ask you something.. ( he proceeds to go into the incident when he was told fuck you, by a girl who wanted him to buy her a drink)

As he’s saying it I turn and go

Me: Oh man are you talking about what happened yesterday? (~chuckle~)

She’s hooked! Turns out she is from Denver and had to stay an extra night in the hotel cause she missed her flight. We were all laughing and talking for a while but Raven was not escalating. He wasn’t kinoing. I looked behind me and saw Caramel and Martyr in a set, I turned and entered. These two girls were cute. One was a brunette who was a HB7 and the other was a blond HB7.5.

I was introduced by Caramel, turns out they were German Opares.

Me: What do you guys do?

HB’s: Were Opares…

Me: Oh…interesting

Caramel: That’s a Nanny

Me: Oh a Nanny, yeah I had no idea what you guys were talking about. ~big smile~

They were laughing pretty hard at that. We talked for a bit, it got a little strained for a bit because we had a bit of a language barrier. I don’t really enjoy European girls because my comedy doesn’t translate well and I always feel like I’m grasping at threads of a conversation. Martyr turns and tells me..

Martyr: I suck tonight

Me: Why are you saying that?

Martyr: I cant open or keep a conversation going

Me: Dude your money! Everyone has a bad night relax!

Martyr ejected, so Raven went in and started talking to his target while Caramel and I talked to Blond HB. At one point in the conversation Ravens target said a smart ass remark and I gave her a high five with my left palm. She sees my tattoo and flips out. She loves it and I (like the ass I am) decide to stick to my plan and tell her its fake. I of course lower my value by saying this but I plow on. I look at the blond and see that she has a nose ring (which i tend to hate but because she has big boobs, that overrides my nose ring turn off), I then touch her nose ring and say.

HB: Did that hurt?

I struck conversation gold! We go on about body piercings, I tell her I want to get my earlobe pierced, she tells me she wants to get her lip pierced. Then she says she wants to get her earlobe pierced, she moves her hair and shows me her ear, so I touch her earlobe. I am doing light kino. The conversation after this was okay but once again I start getting bored. Its so weird what Europeans find entertaining, at one point I point to Martyr and tell my target that he works with kids with autism. Shes is unimpressed so I decide to up the anti. I tell her that because Raven works with autistic kids they tend to get violent at times and act out, so he constantly has scratches and bite marks on his hands. I then tell her that we almost couldn’t get in because the bouncers though that he was a trouble maker because of his hands. Personally I thought this was a lame story but she really believed it and began giggling like crazy over this ridiculous story. After this I looked at Raven and told him I was going to eject and that we should close because both Martyr and Caramel wanted to bounce.

So I gave my phone to the blond HB and tell her to put her number in my phone, which she does. So yeah first number close of the night. I have already made up for my meltdown on Saturday, it felt good! I say my good byes and she asks me where we are going. Hmm IOI anyone? I tell her were going to hit Gaslight, she says shes waiting for some more friends but they will be going to Gaslight later so they will see me there.

As we get in the elevator, Martyr says hes not going to sarge for the rest of the night. He said that he wouldn’t be any good and that nothing we could say would change that. I tell him that he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to. And to not put pressure on himself.

We get into Gaslight and as usually its packed full of people and really loud. I look at a random girl as i come in and say hi, she his me back. We then proceed to sail through the sea of people to the back. Once again allot of guys, theres a two set and I point it out to Raven, he says hes going to go in. But for about 10 minutes he stands there debating it in his head. I tell him to stop thinking and go, he stalls out a bit and gets annoyed. Finally he tells me he wont because their surrounded by guys, now its my turn to be annoyed.

I tell him that if hes going to think like that he will never approach, the guys around them were chodes who were also trying to work themselves up to approach. He was better than that, I told him just to go and get blown out, at least it was a approach out of the way. So he did and he was blown out, when we came back we discussed it. Turns out it was the standard issue, he hooked one girl but the other locked him out by turning her back on him. Caramel and Martyr decided to watch the basketball game. I looked across the room and saw a really cute HB8. She was standing at the bathroom talking to her friend. I decided to approach I walked up and felt the AA Dragon begin to roar. My heart was pounding, my felt like they would pop out and my mouth went dry. I go up to them and say..

“Hey this bathroom isn’t unisex is it?” (brilliant opener)

“Nope” they said in a matter of fact way and went on to their conversation
Well at least I opened I said to myself. When I got back Raven was wired. He wanted to approach more sets with me. Next to use a group of girls came in and started taking pictures. I asked them if they wanted me to take their picture. One said not now and the other ignored me, I looked at the girl who responded and said

“Is she always like this?”

The girl I was talking to smiled and said no, the obstacle give me a “Did he just say what I think he said?” look. I turn and talk to Raven, they tap me and give me the camera to take their picture. I take it and then tell them that I personally hate it and were going to have to do that again. They all look at themselves that pretty much says “Who the fuck does this guy think he is?” but they comply and they give me bigger smiles and the picture comes out great. But I got nothing to follow it up with so I hand the camera back to the girls and turn around. Raven tries to save the set, asking if their going to put the pic’s up on their myspace. The girls were not into it at all, as I could predict. He gets shut down pretty quickly.

We decide we are going leave to hit Park, as we are walking there Raven tells me he feels his number wasn’t solid. As were walking there Caramel begins to get stomach pains, she didn’t eat any dinner and just downed a 16 dollar martini. Its drizzling so I open my umbrella and accidentally scrape Ravens forehead. Raven tries to act fake mad, but for a few minutes I actually thought he was pissed. I thought to myself If I cant tell if this dude is joking, and I hang with this guy, what do girls think? We need to practice jokes with Raven a bit. As we get closer to park, Caramel grabs both Raven and Martyr to hold her because she thinks shes going to puke. I back off and some weirdo in the street stops in his tracks to watch Caramel puke or not puke.

Luckily she doesn’t. When we get to Park we are denied entrance for not having enough girls, wow big shocker…NOT. God I really am not digging Park, their door policy is a pain in the ass and stupid. I at least think they should apply it at midnight or at least 11:30 not 10:30. Caramel goes to the corner and sits down in pain. We decide its time for her to go home. So we got in a cab and went back to Martyrs car. Once we get to his car Martyr decides to drive her home.

Raven wanted to keep sarging, I thought the night was a bust and was ready to head home. I was happy I number closed and was ready to leave it at that but Raven called me on my complacency. He also started farting like a madman (another nasty effect of Red Bull on the human body)So we had Marty drop us off by Washing Square park so we could hit Belgium Bar. We started walking and I was pretty hungry, Raven was on a mission, he wanted to get more sets in. As we walked to Belgium bar, we saw a cab take a turn to sharply and almost hit a garbage man who jumped out of the way spilling garbage all over the cab drivers cab. The cab driver got out and started cursing out the garbage guy (even calling him the N-word!). The garbage guy cursed out the cab driver and it went back and forth, everyone stopped to see who would throw the first punch. Finally the cab driver got in his car told the garbage man to go fuck himself and proceeded to pull away. Only to have the garbage guy pull out a two by four and smash his tail light.

The cab pulled across the garbage truck, the two Manhattanites in the car, got out of the cab and ran for their lives. Seriously I haven’t seen white people run so fast since the last episode of friends. The cab driver and the garbage guy started arguing again. I said that I hoped they would fight, and heard someone agree it was a very cute brunette! We both turned and filled her in what she missed. But the argument died down and got boring, it was clear no one would get their ass kicked. Raven wanted to bail, he wanted to sarge. I looked at the HB 7 and said with a grin…

Me: So new friend, what are you going to do now?

HB7: I’m going to go see my husband, its been a crazy day.

Fuck Me…I thought

Me: Well hey now you got a story to tell him, thats awesome right

HB7: Oh yeah!

She smiled we said our goodbyes and walked off. Raven got a call from Martyr he was coming back to the city to keep sarging with us. We hit the Dinner and I saw a cute HB7 sitting by herself, apparently she couldn’t fit in the same booth as her friends. I thought to myself “man wouldn’t it be sweet if you asked her why she was expelled from the tribe and you could invite her to sit at your table”. Yeah I’m a little slow because it took me a few seconds to realize what I was missing. The AA dragon was stirring, I opened my mouth and said Hey to get her attention but it was so small that no one heard. Project Warlock! Come On!

I never got my chance, she got up and her and some guy from the table said their goodbyes. Carajo!

I had my grilled cheese and we hit Belgium Bar. Once again fucking sausage fest! Mostly guys or couples, not a good location. Raven was annoyed as hell, because he couldnt approach, we went outside to talk. As we walked outside I spotted a very very cute brunette. She was just my type, big boobed white girl with a sweet smile and sarcastic attitude (i heard her talk to her friends). HB8!

Raven and I hung outside of Belgium bar while i discretely spied on my HB cutie. Suddenly she decides to leave and begins to walk down the street. Everything goes in slow motion at this point. Raven is talking to me and I can barely hear him. All I hear is…


No don’t!

Go after her, shes hot!

No, you wont have anything to say

Just tell her shes cute!

Thats stupid, shell think your a freak

Who cares?

Shut up I’m talking here

You shut up Douche bag

Fuck you jerk

Warlock go after her or else you’ll be thinking about her all night, do you really want that?

Is that so wrong, lets go home and download Cinemax porn.
At this point reality is starting to stabilize. I look at Raven…

Raven:Whaaaaaaaaaaaat wrooooooong? Dude

I run like the wind! (Que Superman Theme)
I cant feel my legs, Im running faster than my nervous system. I catch up to her as shes crossing the avenue. I cant even look at her, im so excited.

Me: HEY! (I scream out of breath)

HB8: (Surprised) Oh hey

Me: Yeah so I have to tell you something

HB8: What?

Me: Yeah ill probably be kicking myself if I don’t but I just wanted to say your really fucking cute.

HB8: Thanks.

Me: (Slowly coming down from adrenaline)Okay…BYE!

I turn and leave. When I get back to Belgium Bar, Raven is grinning from ear to ear, he gives me a high five. I’m wired, I feel like I just won the gold medal and I didn’t even get past the opener, I was so happy and thrilled that I did the opener that I prematurely ejected. Raven and I were so giddy and talking that it didn’t dawn on me that she was heading back to Belgium Bar! She smiled as she walked past me and looked down a little.

As she passed me I said

“Yeah thats not awkward”

She started cracking up.

Yeah I know I blew the set but I don’t care nothing takes away from me having the balls to open it.

We hang out in front of Belgium bar for a bit, waiting for Martyr to show up. Theres a two set of a couple of blond HB’s both HB7’s. “Count to 30 and jump in” Raven says. Raven opens with Judges opener and hooks. Their responding pretty well but before I can reach 30 he gets interruptions and is blow out.

After they leave Raven asks me if he should re-enter. My gut tells me no but I feel for Raven and tell him yes. He goes back in, its bad. They are very guarded now and are throwing us shit tests like crazy. We fail and get blown out. At this point Martyr shows up, we say our goodbyes and jump in his car.

We decide to go to Sutton, Martyr is telling us that hes upset because he cant get his groove jump started, hes trying to force it and convince his brain logically to get his inner pimp out. I tell him to relax and that its not a big deal. We park and head over to Sutton, the rooftop is closed but the other levels are open. Inside its pretty bare, there are sets downstairs, Raven and I go to the bathroom when we come out Martyr is fake playing basketball with two girls but his target gets dragged away by her friend. Martyr is beating himself up over it, I can tell. I tell him hes money and put my arm around him. Your a pimp I tell him.

Upstairs its practically dead. On the back of the bar, we spot the hot Brazilian HB9 from a few field reports back. All the guys around the bar are drooling over her, she salutes Martyr and remembers me. I show her my hand and say.

Me: Hey check out my new tat.


Me: Yeah I know

She grabs my hand and asks if its real, I tell her no but it glows in the dark which she thinks its the shit.

We show her Martyr’s tattoo but since its words shes not that impressed. I tell her she cant appreciate good work. Martyr then jokingly asks if shes going to buy us some drinks, to our shock she agrees! Martyr and Raven order a drink and she turns and asks me what I want. I tell her just a coke, she says.

HB Brazilian: A coke?! That is?!

Me: What are you an after school special? DRINK! BE COOL! YOUR NOT COOL UNLESS YOU DRINK!!

She busts out laughing and puts her hand on mine.

HB Brazilan: “Your friend is so funny! I like him!”
She tells Martyr.

Alarm bells start going off in my head.

I look at her and tell her im giving her a tattoo i take out a heart and bird tattoo that says love, she wets a napkin and lets me apply it to her arm. Every fucking guy in the room stops what they are doing and are staring at me apply a fake tattoo to the hottest girl in the room. Raven and Martyr have their jaws to the floor. Some where in my head my limiting belief daemon is going…


She loves her tattoo and gives me a high five. Martyr decides to bounce and I follow suit because I have no idea how to follow it up, plus according to
Style, hired guns cant be sarged in a single interaction, you have to do it over time.

“I have no idea what just happened up there!” I tell Martyr and Raven.
We bounce to Redemption down the street, the place is semi-packed and have a few sets. But we all don’t really care for the place. We decide to hit the bar further down the street. We get in and the AA dragon has us, there are a few sets but none of us cant approach or have nothing we can think of to approach. Martyr goes to the back and has this interaction…

HB7: Hey! (grabs Martyr) Come with me!

Martyr: What?

HB7: Your my friends type!

Martyr: I don’t understand. What?

HB7: Forget it…

I’m shocked, so much that I try to find the girl for him, But its too late her and her friend are dancing with two chodes. We bounce and decide to go back to Sutton. When we get there, we look inside and I say how dead it is, some girl who’s smoking, opens us and tells us how it is outside. Shes an HB6.5 and I think shes cute. We start to talk and it becomes obvious that only HB and I are talking, the guys decide to bounce and leave us alone. For the first time in a while I have a decent conversation with her, He pupils are huge and I wonder if what they say about that being a IOI is true, 25 minutes go by and we are still talking. Martyr and Raven come out and tell me their going back to Redemption. I decide this is my break. So I number close her, she calls herself on my phone and saves the number. Thats a good sign.

I head to Redemption and almost don’t get in a group of drunken Spaniards are being kicked out, but luckily the bouncer remembers me and lets me. Not that it mattered, its the same situation at Redemption. Martyr cant open and hes pissed, Raven cant open and hes pissed, I cant open and I’m cool.
Raven decides to go direct with a 3 set. He opens with..

Raven: You guys look interesting, are you cool?

They respond with yeah and he gives them a shit test. They don’t respond well and he pretty much blows out the set, or rather blows them out. Hes pretty upset about this rejection.

As we decide to bounce Raven asks me to distract the bouncer while he sarges the friend. I go in and try to distract the bouncer but hes not having any of it, I bail because I think that Raven has already gone in. But he hadn’t so he ejects and man is he pissed at me. Raven decided to go in again by himself.

As Martyr and I wait for Raven, Martyr asks me to open two girls who are smoking. Without hesitation, I tell Martyr to follow me and ask the two girls for a cigarette, they tell me that they themselves bumbed it off someone else. I tell them I’m trying to quit anyway, I look at Martyr and try to signal him to jump in but hes locked up, he cant. So we loose the set.

We meet up with Raven who says he couldn’t sarge the girl cause she was talking to the bouncer. We decide to call it a night and get in Martyrs car. Martyr says that hes going to quit, I tell him not to be an idiot that we all have rough times and I’m living proof! I tell him to take a break for a week, to play basketball, work on his thesis and avoid the boards for the week. Then Friday we will bust shit up again.

Raven is also upset, even though he got a number close, he doesn’t feel its solid and the last rejection with the 3 set got in his head. I told him not to take it personally and the more we fail the better we will be.

They drop me off at the subway. As I sit on the subway train I think about what transpired last night and compare it to my meltdown. I am proud of myself. AA can be beaten but it just takes time, its not something that comes easy but if you stay in there and tell yourself you wont quit no matter what the barriers start to crack.

Lets Sum Up Shall We?

Sticking Points

1)Still Have AA
2)Not very happy with my openers
3)I don’t know if I’m grasping push pulling well

Bonus Points

1)Number Closed! TWICE!
2)Beat AA in spectacular ways
3)Showed social proof with the bartender
4)I was a good wing and more importantly good friend
5)Made my targets laugh


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