Filling holes in yourself

December 16, 2008 at 1:46 am (Uncategorized)

Last night I had probably one of the hotest girls I have ever met naked in my bed. Everything I did to drover her crazy. We were together till 9 in the morning exploring each others bodies. It was perfect.

But why do I still feel a hole inside of me?

I think like everyone I got into “the community” for the wrong reasons. at first I thought it was to seek fame but i now realize it was to fill a hole that was inside of me. I think allot of guys do this as well. The sad truth is that sex or a girlfriend does not fill the empty hole thats inside of you. Its just something to distract us from the real work that needs to be done.

My life is a bit of a mess right now.

– I am unemployed

– I am overweight

– I am not very close to getting my degree

I could go on and on about the real problems I face in my life. I dont want to focus on the negative here but i cant ignore my real problems. Going out with the guys and hitting the bars in the hopes of getting off isnt going to make them go away.

A year ago I decided to get this one part of my life handled. I was very gun ho and focused all my energy on it. At first I believe that was the right move but as I got better and more in to the intermediate level that allot of get stuck in, I neglected other parts of my life and they fell to shit.

I dont regret sarging, I dont regret loosing my job because its all on me. And I do not believe that trying to get laid is bad. Because it isnt. Plus I hated that fucking job. Was it bad timming…well fuck yeah but I would be miserable in that job even if I was still working there. But I cant put all my eggs in one basket. I made that mistake with my previous relationships and in life in general. Theres only so many times someone can walk into a wall before they decide that its not a good idea.

I dont post on the blog anymore because I am afraid of getting an ego but its in these moments when I know that my ego is gone. I can either feel sorry for myself or pick myself up. So its time to get up and get my shit together.

Plus the sex is great 😉


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