Filling holes in yourself

December 16, 2008 at 1:46 am (Uncategorized)

Last night I had probably one of the hotest girls I have ever met naked in my bed. Everything I did to drover her crazy. We were together till 9 in the morning exploring each others bodies. It was perfect.

But why do I still feel a hole inside of me?

I think like everyone I got into “the community” for the wrong reasons. at first I thought it was to seek fame but i now realize it was to fill a hole that was inside of me. I think allot of guys do this as well. The sad truth is that sex or a girlfriend does not fill the empty hole thats inside of you. Its just something to distract us from the real work that needs to be done.

My life is a bit of a mess right now.

– I am unemployed

– I am overweight

– I am not very close to getting my degree

I could go on and on about the real problems I face in my life. I dont want to focus on the negative here but i cant ignore my real problems. Going out with the guys and hitting the bars in the hopes of getting off isnt going to make them go away.

A year ago I decided to get this one part of my life handled. I was very gun ho and focused all my energy on it. At first I believe that was the right move but as I got better and more in to the intermediate level that allot of get stuck in, I neglected other parts of my life and they fell to shit.

I dont regret sarging, I dont regret loosing my job because its all on me. And I do not believe that trying to get laid is bad. Because it isnt. Plus I hated that fucking job. Was it bad timming…well fuck yeah but I would be miserable in that job even if I was still working there. But I cant put all my eggs in one basket. I made that mistake with my previous relationships and in life in general. Theres only so many times someone can walk into a wall before they decide that its not a good idea.

I dont post on the blog anymore because I am afraid of getting an ego but its in these moments when I know that my ego is gone. I can either feel sorry for myself or pick myself up. So its time to get up and get my shit together.

Plus the sex is great 😉

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1 Comment

  1. The Soul said,

    Your thread on RSD basically answers all of your worries.

    From an outsiders perspective, it looks like you are doing WONDERFUL right now. If you are not happy with your weight, you should start going to the gym, especially since you have all of that free time being unemployed!

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