Burnt Out

January 9, 2009 at 10:33 pm (Uncategorized)

Hi my name is David and I am an addict. Its Friday and I just work up at 3pm. This is becoming a common thing. I had promised myself I would go see the Van Gogh exhibit at MOMA, today was the last day. On Monday I had a fever and was not feeling well at all, yet I walked 6 blocks in the cold and rain, almost fell numerous times on my ass because of the strong winds and ice on the ground. All this to get to a 24 hour Duane Read to by 40 dollars worth of junk food, ice cream and candy.

I HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM!

I go out 4 nights a week on average on rare occasions sometimes even up to 5 but never less than 3. I wake up at 3pm almost everyday because my body has gotten used to pulling late hours that its hard for me to go to bed before 2 am! I live game, I eat fast foods because I want to feel that instant pleasure, I pound red bull and energy drinks to stay allert in my sets. I feel so good about myself when I score a make out, a kiss, get laid but it doesnt last soon I need to get more and more to feel better about myself and when I get rejected it begins to fester in my brain and I seek out more and more conquests.

I am an addict. I really did not want to admit it but I have a problem. My life has gone off the deep end and I am completely burned out. So I have decided to take next week off and play the following one by ear. If I hear back from any one of the girls I talk to then yeah i will go out with them. But I need to focus on finding a balance in my life. And contrary to my previous post my weight is something I need to get handled. So this week I am going to sit down and plan out a balanced life for myself. So far this is what I have come up with…

– Every day I must devote at least 2 hours of my day to getting a job

– I should go twice a week to the gym a minimum of 4 days a week prefferbly 5

– I can only eat fast food once a week

– I have to read one book constantly (no comics must be a book)

– I have to do something daily that will keep me out of my apartment (go to museum, park, hang out with non community friends)

– I eventually must get a hobbie, this will most likely be a dance class once I get a job

– After my week sabbatical (possibly 2) I can only go out twice a week

I’m pretty sure this is going to feel like withdrawal but it has to be done if I dont do something about this soon I am going to seriously screw up my life further.

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2 Comments

  1. Fred said,

    I understand how it is man….for us…game almost consumes our entire mental energy because its something positive and uplifting. I actually find myself going on RSDN on my blackberry at work at least three times a day lol.

    I really like the goals you set out for yourself. Like everyone…sometimes we just need a little vacation. A little time out of the trenches to focus on your WHOLE life really puts things in perspective. While game is a lot of fun…it is not the end all and be all. If game is all you’re into, then the only validation you’ll get from life is approval from chicks….and thats low value. If you indulge yourself in other areas of your life, at least you have the pleasure of saying “Okay…we’ll I got blown out a lot…but its okay because I busted my ass in my gym and read an awesome book today….so I really had a great day”

    And stick to your goals man. It may be hard….but after a week, you’ll feel better emotionally, mentally, and physically. It’ll get you to clear your mind.

    If you need anything during your break, you know my number ofcourse.

    Fred

  2. Kyahane said,

    Just dropping by.Btw, you website have great content!

    ______________________________
    Have You Ever Stayed Awake at Night Stressing About Whether or Not Your Marriage Will Last … And What You Can Possibly Do to Save It?

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