My Feelings Toward Joe D Today

August 29, 2008 at 7:25 am (Bio, Thoughts)

So I decided to post my current feelings on the bootcamp I took with Joe Doyle back in late June. This is what I posted:

“Yeah Joes a cool guy and all but a few things

1) Once Joe got my money it was almost impossible to set a date for the bootcamp, He didnt respond to e-mails or phone calls, Had to have Blitz intervine twice for him to call me back.

2) I felt Joe was unprepared to deal with my issues as a student. At one point he even asked me what he should do to help me. When your instructor asks you that you know your in trouble.

3) Joe tended to make things worse for me at times. Like telling me things while I was sarging like “You need to start buying bigger clothes” or “I’ve done everything I can to get your energy up and every other student I’ve done that with has worked your the only one that it hasn’t worked on, I’m at a loss” While I appreciate candor, things like this should be said AFTER your sarge night not during because it made me freak out and get in my head.

4) Joe refused to do Day Game, he just repeated what was on the show because he said he hated day game and felt that it was incongruent with me, I got the impression that he was worried that If I did day game I would get blown out, ruin the high I had and I would be unsatisfied.

5) At the end of the first night I felt Joe gave up on me, he told me about the venusian arts return policy and emphasized that I would not get a refund if I did not follow their system. At the time I felt like he was covering his bases and he was giving up on me as a student.

6) Joe did two demos, one was approaching two girls at a bar with one of his pivots. He made them laugh then ejected, the other was a stripper, he did close but he went for the e-mail instead of a number. I found both the demos kind of disappointing considering I have seen other PUA’s who are non instructors due more impressive sarges.

7) Sometimes I wondered about Joes advice, for example when he told me I needed to be high energy in set, I asked him how to do that and he told just to do it. When i pressed him because I found his answer stupid, he started doing the shrink thing (which i hate by the way) which is answering a question with a question “well what do you think?”.  He told me to “have fun” and to “just be high energy” I remember thinking that if I could just flip a switch in my head to make me high energy and have fun I would not be taking the bootcamp. Besides how can I have fun when…

A) I am self concious due to Joe’s clothes comment

B) I am freaking out because while were at bootcamp or saying things like “out of all my students, your not getting it”

8) I had to pick all the venues we were going to as well as back up venues, for example on Friday we started at Plunge but due to the rain Joes pivots wanted to leave so we left Plunge and I had to come up with alternative venues (which were voided when his pivots bailed on us).  Joe was also specific in his venues needs which kind of left me at a loss he wanted to go to more of a club enviorment when I most of the places I know about are loungues. At one point we almost went to Webster Hall (I was at a loss for clubs) and at the last minute Joe told me we would not go there because his friends who would be going out with us told him Webster Hall was lame. We wound up at park which luckly everyone enjoyed and there was actually a decent night.

9) Joe said he would teach me Dance Floor game but I didnt learn anything.  He didnt teach anything and seemed to make excuses. He made statements like “yeah dance flloor game is hard and not fit for you”.

To sum up, while I did enjoy my time with Joe, I feel that my 2 grand could have been better spent. I have had success after the bootcamp but its been by doing direct game and non routine systems which is what I was doing before. I would have asked for my money back but I felt that I wouldnt have gotten it back because it could have come down to just Venusian arts saying “I didnt try hard enough”. Its a expensive lesson learned.”

Joe’s probably gonna be pissed or he will just blow me off as a guy who wanted a magic pill. I’m honestly hopping he doesn’t respond because its really just my honest opinions of his teaching style. I hope he doesn’t take it as a slam but actually maybe thinks if I might have a some points.

I don’t blame Joe completely on the failure of my bootcamp I know my AA had a hand in the outcome of the weekend. But I keep thinking that at times Joe’s actions made it worse and he just had no clue with dealing with it. I felt like he wrote me off, after the first night.

Yes the second night was better but did I get to that next level in my game? The answer is sadly no. Yes Joe is an awesome cat, I have no ill will against him but he should not be running bootcamps, hes not prepared for it. I couldn’t let me original report sit on the net possibly getting newbies to pay 2 grand for a waste of time.

Every single ounce of success in this blog since that bootcamp has been done using RSD material that Joe dismissed as showing too much interest and would never work. I got more out of the 800 dollars I spent in the Flawless Natural Seminar than I did in the 2 grand I wasted on Joe Doyle. I only wished I would have not buckled to the pressure tactics that I experienced when I tried to cancel my boot camp after being ignored by Joe.

Always trust your gut. Its a hard lesson learned and expensive too.

For the record I have no ill feelings toward Joe. I think he is a very nice guy and I enjoyed his company as a person. I only have issues with him as a teacher…

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Oh Ye Old Chode Days….

August 26, 2008 at 9:39 pm (Bio)

 So in Fred’s blog, he spoke about his x-girlfriend. This got me thinking on my past relationships and how they have affected me in other words how they have shaped my chodeness. So lets begin:

I’m not going into my childhood or my teen years after i lost my virginity (which is a post in itself). So our story takes place when way back when I was 18.

Michelle AKA Psycho Bitch From Hell

 

Before I met Michelle I actually had some decent game. I was bedding girls off the net, mostly chubby girls because I had some huge self esteem issues and didn’t believe that a skinny hot girl would like me. I remember one girl I pulled of the net, and wound up banging her back in my room later that day.

I met Michelle because my buddy Paul from high school was friends with her in his college, in hisgh school & college we would play RPG’s of all types, Marvel Super Heroes, D&D, AD&D, Shadow Run, Heroes, Star Wars… you get the idea. Anyway at the time Fox had aired and canceled a show that was HUGE in Puerto Rico, it was called Kindred: The Embraced, which turned out was based on a RPG game called Vampire The Masquerade. Anyway I soon began to run Vampire Masquerade get together at my folks place. Michelle came over to play….did I mention that we dressed up like our characters? Yes I was THAT GUY.

So chode….will it ever wash away.

Anyway I wound up ignoring Michelle which turned her on and boom next thing I know were making out in her car in front of my house. Yes it was an epic romance, I was now with a woman who I found exotic and cool. She was goth and a rocker. She liked comics and knew allot of things about the states. I thought she was the coolest, how lucky a chode like myself was with a amazing woman such as her. I was cherishing in the night. Our romance lasted 2 weeks then I went on a 3 week vacation with my folks, all I wanted to do during the vacation was get back home to her. When I got back, her reaction was “Oh…you’re back….huh…thats…cool”

Yeah she dumped my ass. I remember having the stupidest conversation with her. I was crying in my car as I told her that she was like a cat and no one cold hold her, she walked to her own path. So lame…so very lame. Anyway the “relationship” soon deteriorated to lackey or orbiter. I would hang out with her, hoping to make out with her, when she got the whim to do so.

Allot of my insecurities and chodeness comes from Michelle. She was verbally and mentally abusive toward me. She would call me stupid, fat, ugly. I remember she would make me listen to a song and then would quiz me on what it meant. If I didn’t get it right she would berate me. She also would hit on other guys in front of me. I didn’t even get sex from this woman! The most I did was go down on her and get a hand job. Still got to admit Michelle was a master of sexuality, she knew how to be very seductive, now i could probably see through it but for a horny 18 year old she had me wrapped around her little finger.

Anyway the relationship ended when I went to San Francisco on vacation with them and told her to go fuck herself in front of her parents. 3 days of her attitude caused me to snap.

For 3 years i would get anxiety attacks if I bumped into her in a mall or something. One of the best days of my life was the day that I saw her and thought to myself “what the fuck did I ever see in this woman?”

Next up we got Jaimie.

I met Jaimie through hotmail personals. We soon met and were making out in 20 minutes. We were together for about 3 months. I took her virginity and we fucked like bunnies. But I was very chode and the relationship began to deteriorate. Michelle’s scars were still fresh and I was insecure and needy. She claimed to be Bi-Sexual even though she never had a lesbian experience. She had two friends one was a girl who came out and was a full lesbian and the other a guy who would turn gay to straight every week you spoke to them. They would rent the same movies every week and watch them religiously “Priscilla Queen of the Desert” & “The Amazing Adventures Two Girls In Love”. I always had an issue with this, I felt that being gay to them was more about a “tittle” than to actually BE gay. But whatever.

Anyway her friends hated me which didn’t help. My friends were chodes and she got along with them okay but we would do the usual shit. Go hang at the mall, watch movies, yada yada.

She started going to a shrink for depression. During one session she told her doctor that she felt she needed to be a certain way with me than she was with her friends. To which she told Jaimie that she should be herself and should be around people who shes herself with. So she dumped my ass. And by AIM too! One of more pathetic ways I’ve been dumped.

Last I heard shes a full lesbian now. She has an Internet relationship with another lesbian who shes never met. I said hi to her once and was told to fuck off (I guess she doesnt want a reminder that she actually enjoyed penis in her life). Whatever Ill still be the first dick that was in her pussy first nyah nyah!

After Jaimie I was single for a few years, fucking fatties here or there. When I met…

Mariel

 

I met Mariel on ICQ (old computer geeks may be going daaaaaaaaaaaamn right about now) we soon hit it off and had an insane connection. She had a boyfriend at the time and I became an orbiter. Then I wound up being the rebound guy when her boyfriend dumped her. Its funny because our “relationship” wound up being intense, we would have huge fights, yet be all over each other. You can ad her to yet another woman who i consider an important milestone in my life. You see all Mariel wanted was an alpha guy who new how to play the game. She wanted a guy who knew how to handle her, how to handle her moods, how to make her feel dominated. She loved me but I wasn’t that guy. I was Ubber Chode.

I still talk to Mariel, she really started me on this path to discovering myself and what social dynamics are all about. I will always have a special place in my heart for Mariel but it would never work out between us. Funny thing is now Mariel is in my position, shes some guys orbiter. Karma is a bitch hehehehe!

Finally we come to Franca.

 

This was my last chode girlfriend. I met Franca on E-Harmony once I moved to New York. Believe it or not I had allot of luck on e-harmony and Franca was a great choice, she was a an actress and we would attack each other in bed. I had thought that all my chodiness would leave when I moved to NYC I blamed all my bad habits and miserable dating life to living in Puerto Rico where I just didn’t fit in. But after 3 months things starting going south. I was very needy and wanting to spend time with her 3 days a week. I was always whinnying about my problems. I told her insane things like I loved her after 3 weeks of dating. Yeah I was psycho chode.

So one day she met me after work and told me we should go to the park. I was all happy and peppy because I was with my girl. She kissed me and held my hand as we walked into the park. We sat down and she held my hand. Then she looked me in the eye and told me that it was over and we should see other people.

The bitch dumped me mafia style. It was a professional hit. When I think about it, I picture myself with Bambi eyes not seeing her sharpening her knife for the slaughter. Like a Nazi soldier telling a POW

“Hey let me show you something behind the shed” then hearing a gun shot in the distance.

Whats a real kick in my ass about this last relationship was that had I just been honest with her and not tried to play the role of boyfriend I would probably still be with Franca. I also wanted to see other people, I remember in school I kept meeting women and lusting after them. I would beat myself up about it for being a bad boyfriend. Had I just chilled out and just enjoyed dating Franca and OTHER WOMEN, I probably would have gotten some real game in me. But what ifs dont make the world turn.

I was devastated and the months following that brutal break up, were pathetic. My e-harmony matches soon dried up and the fatties stopped calling. In November I called my buddy Juan in PR and asked him how i could turn around this horrible love life. He started talking to me about a show on VH1 and the rest is well history…

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Romeo

August 6, 2008 at 4:46 pm (Bio, Inner Game)

Its been a interesting week. I started speaking to a girl who pretty much sparked my road to game, I wound up going chode and spilling my guts on how much she meant to me yada, yada. She took it in a neutral way which threw me for a loop.

For about 3 days I wondered if she liked me or not. I also thought about my role in the game. What do I want out of this? And what would make me stop?

In my opinion there are certain guys who get into the game.

The Pussy Hunter – These guys get in the game to get off. I see them like big game hunters on safari. They are on the prowl for that great lay or to just get notches on their bedpost. Which is not a bad thing, I mean we all have penises. But trust me this is more than sex to me, I did the whole sex route. I’ve gotten laid, but simply getting off is something i could do with porn or paying for a call girl. Players and horn dogs tend to fall into this category.

The Tin Men – These are the guys who have a chip on their shoulder. They are the guys who got hurt because they were orbiters or super chodes. Now they have a us against them mentality and want to get even with women. They claim that they don’t have a heart. They carry their axes and are ready to swing. Social robots, neg kings, and people afraid of intimacy fall in this category.

The Romeos – These are the guys who are looking for their princess. The guys looking for a wife or a long term girlfriend. They are the complete opposite of Tin Men. They want to express love and make a woman feel like shes fallen into a cheesy romance novel.

When I finally spoke to her she gave me the usual “lets just be friends speech”. I was sad and almost threw myself a pity parade but then I stopped myself and said “Wait whats wrong with this girl? Doesn’t she realize what she just passed up? I’m THE David. I’m not some 22 year old chode (7 years her junior) who wont pay attention to her. What a retard!”

And I really meant it, I could not for the life of me understand how utterly stupid this girl was. I mean I’m the Moeby Dick of catches. I really believe that. Which of course makes me feel amazing. Because this is just a step closer to my goal of the ultimate abundance mentality.

Yesterday she called me crying and asked for my advice which I gave. After she got her validation she hung up. I sat there and for about a minute or two I thought “Wow that felt good. I got to make her feel better yay”

Of course I realize that I was being a chode. I slapped myself and screams “Whats wrong with you?! Your not a chode!”. I realized that I jumped through her hoop and gave her the validation she needed to feel better because she cant get it from herself. She wants to make me her orbiter because turns out her last one jumped ship. Fuck that! I did that with my x and I have no interest in doing a version 2.0 more chode for more time!

I spoke to Love Pirate and I realized that this entire experience has made me realize what I want out of the game and what I value. I want intimacy with a woman. I want to be that guy they had an amazing experience with who they will remember for the rest of their lives. I want to be the Don Juan of New York. Its not about sex, its about the romance and connection. So I suppose if you had to classify me then I am a Romeo.

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The Last Straw

July 30, 2008 at 5:20 pm (Bio, Inner Game)

Once upon a time there was a chode named David. David had no control over his relationships. He dated sure, got laid a few times but he was at the complete mercy to any woman that came into his life. Maybe this is why his relationships never lasted more than 6 months.

David’s last relationship was not even a relationship he was a rebound guy to the girl. Even though they were close friends, David wanted more. He just wanted to solve his problem with women and figured that if he could get one girl who had a few qualities he liked or at least tolerated he would date her for over a year, maybe 2 and then he would marry her and he would not have to worry about being alone ever again.

Like I said he was a chode.

Well things didn’t work out that way. The girl of his dreams left him for more Alpha guys who in his mind didn’t appreciate her. So out of frustration he decided to move to the big apple to find himself. You see he thought that his chodeness came from his environment. All he needed was a new place and he would magically be seen by women as the catch he knew he was.

And to his credit when he got to the big apple he managed to find a nice fatty who was unlike the other girls he had dated before…she was an actress. But he kept his chody ways and 3 months later she dumped his ass, mafia style. Things soon started to snowball from there. He had dates that never went anywhere, he posted profiles on dating sites, and wasted money on extravagant dates that left him with wood and the only sex he had was either with himself or fat desperate women with kids.

David was spiraling downward toward depression. He asked his married friend who never had a problem getting dates for advice. He told him to watch a TV show on VH1 about a pick up artist. David did some research and found out that there was a book called The Game. So he went to Barnes and Nobles at lunch and bought the book much to his embarrassment. But soon he began to read and was sucked into the world of game.

He also downloaded the VH1 show and began to watch it, then he started trying out some lines and started to dress differently. He was tip toeing his way to game.

It was December and he jumped on a plane to visit his parents back home. He then went to see his x. Secretly he hoped he would finally be able to have sex with her. He still cared for her and wanted to see if he had a chance to change himself in front of her eyes. They made out a little and then like a true chode he let her lead and they started to drive around. He knew that nothing would ever happen between them, they would never be anything but friends. At one point she told him to pick up her friend who was a little down due to relationship woes.

He did and he was shocked to find himself drawn to her. By chance he wound up having to drop of his x because she was not feeling well and he wound up having dinner with this girl. This gave him more time to get to know her. He started to feel something strange happen to him. He was turned on, not just physically but on a intellectual level. He didn’t think he could feel that way and he thought she felt the same way. They flirted and laughed all the way back to her place were like a gentleman left her at her front door.

For two days David’s world was turned upside down. The air tasted better, the sun shone brighter, the food tasted better…you know the drill. He had his head up his ass. He then had the stupidity to call his x to invite her and her friends (excuse to invite the girl) to his parents house for a pool party. To which his x snorted and replied to his questions about her friend that her friends impression of him was that he was a weirdo and sleazy. That David was not her type and he had made a blunder of the situation.

His world was shattered. He felt his whole world go into a tailspin. He felt like a fool.

And in that moment of despair as he ate doritoes and looked at craigslist adds as he heard the New Years celebration outside his small little apartment, he came to a crossroads. He could let this experience of having his heart crushed turn him into a man of despair or he could use it to fuel his change.

And like that the chode inside of David started to die. He jumped in the pool. It wasn’t easy his coworkers teased him by giving him a new nickname, he was rejected by women, he struggled to learn. So finally after a few months things started to slowly gel for him. And when it came time to pick his PUA name, his handle, his pen name for his posts and reports. He decided to choose the name his coworkers teased him with, he would turn a negative into a positive, he would be known as Warlock. He would make magic happen.

And that my friends is how I stopped being a chode. Thanks for reading….

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The Characters From Warlocks Life

July 28, 2008 at 2:42 pm (Bio)

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now.  So without wasting any more time, lets do this!

P.U.A’s I hang out with regularly:

The Judge:

The Judge is probably one of the best PUA’s I know, I first met him at The Newbie Sarge (a regular meeting of board members from NYCsargeteam.com every couple of months) It was early in my game when a solid interaction was something to dream about. The Judge was a monster, attracting girls like crazy and when I pointed to the hottest girl in the room (we dubbed her HB Beyonce) he killed that set, number closed her and had her texting him for the rest of the night.

I enjoy talking to The Judge about game, we normally talk about inner game stuff and life in general. Whenever I have a problem or sticking point I need to talk about, I can always count on him.

The Judge was a master at routine based game but in the past few months he has started to experiment and evolve a more natural/RSD technique.

Golden Child:

Golden was one of the last senior NYCsargeteam members I met off the board. At the time I was constantly posting insanely detailed field reports and was getting some attention from it. Golden told me that he would read my reports and want to go out to game. Goldens most powerful tool is his voice, he dominates constantly with it and is always talking in a breaking rappor tonality. Girls just melt when he opens his mouth. He also is a great guy to have next to you, to motivate you. He is constantly excited and ready to tear it up. His style used to be straight up routine based (although he always improvised between routines) but now is slowly starting to turn into a more RSD/Natural Style since I first told him about it after my Flawless Natural seminar.

Love Pirate

L.P is the moderator of the board but is also one of the most sickest PUA’s I have ever met. His game is all physical and natural based. Hes very out spoken against using routines. I’ve seen him in the field and his game is scary. He always makes out and pulls pretty consistently. He also has the talent of gab, Ive called him and been so involved in our conversation that I look up and 4 hours have gone by. Also dont try to AMOG him, I’ve seen many a PUA walk off with his tail between their legs.

Achilles

One of the warmest most nicest PUA’s I have ever met.  He is also Puertorican, probably one of the only ones I have met in the field. Achilles is a good viber. He can vibe really, really well with everyone around him and bring this air of positivity. He is pretty much routine based.

Steve

Steve is a ninja. You might see Steve on one section of the club but half a minute later he will be gone and so will the girl or group. It took a while for me to get to know Steve, at first I just saw him as the quiet good looking guy who hangs with the guys. But over time I really got to know him and hes a really cool and decent dude. His game is pretty solid. He is also starting to convert to RSD.

Raven

Raven is my wing and good friend, you will usually see him by my side. If you want to learn more about Raven see my other posts.

Other PUA’s I know:

Martyr:

Martyr is a PUA I used to hang out with on a regular basis. Martyr has a very big heart and is a very nice guy. He says he has his own system now that is similar to RSD. I tend to see him probably twice a month or so, he doesn’t really enjoy the venues I sarge in.

The Undertaker:

The Undertaker is Martyrs wing. He’s an okay guy I guess, I don’t really know him to well. He is all about routines. I will be honest and say I do not like sarging with him because is pretty low energy and it tends to throw me off.

Shiz:

Shiz was a PUA I used to hang out with allot. I always thought we would tear it up together and become a PUA machine. But problems arouse between us and he kind of dropped off the map. I see him every so often. He now dresses like The Judge because he was told by a guru that he should imitate the style of someone that was good. He is very routine based and last time we spoke said

“Why be natural when routines work?”

He tends to be very high energy and does very well in warm circle game.

Blitz:

Blitz tends to wing Achilles since they are both from Long Island. Hes a really cool guy and has solid game. He tends to look like a music executive and always looks money. Caramel spoke to him once and he told her he was looking for a real connection with a woman. He is a very cool guy and its always a pleasure to speak to him.

York:

York is a Asian PUA I see on occasion. At first I didn’t like York, I thought he came across as a douche bag but I later spoke to him a little and have revised my view of him. He winged me once and didn’t do a bad job and I could tell what I thought was arrogance was really nerves. I look forward to seeing him again.

People I Try To Avoid!

PUA Douche: This is an Asian PUA who I despise. He likes to pull this little move of coming up next to you while your in set and acting like he knows you so he can jack your set. If I see him again I might just wind up calling him on it or worse case scenario tooling him.

Vultures: These are guys who like to slowly ease their way next to you and  if you get distracted, jump into your set and steal it. They are insanely slimy and sleazy. I want to punch them in the face.

Gurus: I sometimes see PUA teachers while I’m at the bars. If the company is big like Venusian or RSD they tend to be very nice as long as your not trying to tool them or beg them for tips. But there are “gurus” from smaller schools. These guys tend to be jerk offs. I will elaborate about this more in future posts.

Guido’s: Nuff Said

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Hate Is The Star!

July 23, 2008 at 3:28 pm (Bio, Inner Game)

So last night I was a little bored and started to IM people on my AIM who I had forgotten about. One person was on my list and I completely had forgotten who she was (I only have girls on my AIM or guys I still communicate with). Well I send a hi and who are you message and get a fuck you right back.

Well this entertains me and no matter how much of a insult she gives me I just give her a sweet and nice answer back. This frustrates her which amuses me, then I realize who she was.

Kelly Coffee

Kelly was a girl that went to high school with me. Back then she used to weigh 300 pounds. She was also a raging bitch. I’m not exaggerating, she was one mean bitch, she would insult anyone who would even look at her. I tried to be nice but I soon gave that up when she ripped into me in English class, it got so bad I insulted her back by calling her elephant girl, she didn’t like that one bit and it was the first time I feel like I really hurt someones feelings intentionally, not cool, not cool at all.

Years later I wound up working with my dad in tourism. Turns out her dad was working in the same company as a driver. I quickly made friends with him, mostly because I liked his stories and he was funny. The guy was a x-hippy and was an interesting cat. He got me in touch with Kelly, she was living in Salt Lake City and she had lost all her weight and gone down to 139 pounds.

Whats funny is that she still had the same attitude although it wasn’t as intense. She was rather negative, always about this person or that person being an asshole. But she was also really interesting, she was very independent and loved nature plus she had geek like interests and was a liberal.

I worked in tourism for about I would say 3 years (give or take). At first I liked it, it was an easy way to make money. But as time went on, I began to hate it, drivers would steal from each other, gossip and just act like complete ghetto chodes. Mr.Coffee was cool but he had the same flaws like other drivers, he would steal trips and try to make a profit for himself or give trips to certain drivers who greased the wheels if you get my meaning.

I stopped hanging out with Mr.Coffee because I didn’t really share his value of chasing money, I would hang out with the girls in the office because I could make them laugh and enjoyed their company. My Dad was on the board of directors for the company and a vote came down from the head honchos and Mr.Coffee lost his position as chief operator (basically the guy who assigns trips) and he became a driver again.  A few months later the company went belly up because Hyatt closed its hotel, I had saved my pennies and booked a ticket to NYC.

This was two years ago and I remember my time in tourism with a little disdain. Sure it was easy money and little work but unlike everyone else I didn’t put my ultimate value in making cash. To this day money isn’t as valuable to me as it is to anyone else. If I was told I could either get 300 bucks or have sex with a cute woman, I would choose the sex. If I had to choose between going home with a hottie and loosing my friendship with my buddy or going home with wood and keeping my friendship. I would have wood.

Mr.Coffee apparently told Kelly that my dad betrayed him and I stood by and took the side of the company. That Mr.Coffee was a noble and honorable man. And I was the son of Satan and my father was Lucifer

Its been 2 fucking years and shes still carrying this grudge against my family and I. She started cursing me out over AIM, getting pretty intense in her descriptions of incest I must have with my father and how I betrayed her poor innocent noble father. I was pretty much fascinated by her rant.

You can really hold on to hate for that long? Don t you have better things to do?

Now your probably wondering Warlock what does this have to do with game? Heres the deal guys. You are either a positive person or a negative one. You cant be both, you will lean more to either side. Kelly has reframed life to be that everyone is out to get her. This is why she will never really savor life because she will always look over her shoulder or not trust anyone.

But imagine if you thought everyone was trying to help you? That everyone was just a friend waiting to be discovered? That negative people are just sad and not worth your time.  How awesome would that be? How money would you be in your interactions? Food for thought.

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Creep & What That Means To Me…

July 21, 2008 at 3:42 pm (Bio, Inner Game)

Today It was implied by my coworker that I was the office creep. This really upset me to the point of tears. As I was in the bathroom trying to compose myself I started to think. Why am I so upset?

The answer is because I was called a creep. Now this is interesting to me, because If I learn why the word creep is so powerful to me, it may lead to me solving this problem and that would not only help my game but bring me closer to my ultimate goal of being the best human being I can be.

Creep, such a powerful word. Lets look up the definition, a quick google search provides me with this:

creep(krp)

intr.v. crept (krpt), creep·ing, creeps

1. To move with the body close to the ground, as on hands and knees.

2.

a. To move stealthily or cautiously.

b. To move or proceed very slowly: Traffic creeps at that hour.

3. Botany

a. To grow or spread along a surface, rooting at intervals or clinging by means of suckers or tendrils.

b. To grow horizontally under the ground, as the rhizomes of many plants.

4. To slip out of place; shift gradually.

5. To have a tingling sensation, made by or as if by things moving stealthily: a moan that made my flesh creep.

n.

1. The act of creeping; a creeping motion or progress.

2. Slang An annoyingly unpleasant or repulsive person.

 

So if we read the definition right, creep implies imagery of a snake like repulsive creature of the opposite sex, I did a little more digging and apparently this word came into public slang use in the 1950’s. Okay that sort of helps, lets try to break this into social psychological terms.

Being considered a Creep means…

 

  1. Become an outcast of humanity

  2. Be seen as a scavenger who is the lowest of all in the value food chain

  3. Will never mate and if he does its with trash

  4. Is dangerous and not trust wothy

I now know the origin of the world and what it implies so lets look at Warlocks life and see why this word became so big with me.

It became very clear at a young age that the most important thing for me was to be accepted. I was a spoiled kid. I had allot of toys, video games, I remember at one point I had a tricycle, a bike with training wheels (that would always fall over), a big wheel, 2 peddle cars (this was pre-power wheels guys, yeah I’m old school) and a scooter (not the gas peddle ones, the ones that are like a skateboard with a handlebar). It was important to me to use my toys to make friends with the kids from the neighborhood. For allot of years it seemed to work but as I got older it actually started to work against me.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Lets talk about the first time I felt like a creep. Her name was Christina, she had blond hair and green eyes or at least thats how I remember it. I was smitten guys, I was in second grade and I wanted to marry a girl I had not even had a full conversation with. If she looked in my direction my face would turn red. I was even the cliché guys, I used to write her name as Mrs.Warlock in my notebook with hearts.

I decided to write her a love letter (special thanks for my very smart friend for the brilliant idea…as karma he stayed 5’0 for the rest of his life) and leave it in her book bag because I was a chicken shit. But I couldn’t help myself and told her I had left her a present in her book bag ( you guys know where this is going).

Of course the minute I turned my back she dove for it. And as I sat across the room, I had a moment that would be forever burned into my memory. Christina opened the letter and began to read it….and then began to cry. Her friend came over and I soon discovered I had the ability to read lips because it was at that point that she told her friend in tears that she thought I was ugly.

I wont describe the feeling of that guys because all you have felt it before. Ill just sum it up by saying “that fucking sucked”, the effects of this were devastating. It was only until i reached my 20’s that I accepted the fact that I am a good looking dude.

Things only got worse, when we hit 5th grade the social groups started forming. I wound up with the short straw and became social outcast. I no longer had friends at school and they started dwindling around the neighborhood as well. I was a creep. Girls hated me, they were probably the most hurtful bullies because their way of getting to me weren’t like the guys (tripping me, throwing my book bag off the roof or the classic wedgie) it was a whole new form of torture. I got little mind games that severely fucked with my head. I was called ugly and creepy and well word stuck to me like glue.

I guess when I look at it, the word creep or creepy just reminds me of a time of my life that I was very sad, probably the most sad I have ever been. When I get called creepy its like I turn back into that 10 year old who just wants to be accepted and loved. Its a trigger word that just shoots me back in time.

So let me analyze this. I still put allot of value in how people perceive me. Not strangers, I have successfully eliminated that, I have no problem going into a club and getting blown out and to a certain extent going for the kiss with a girl. But I put so much value in what people in my every day life think of me. Because to me those are the ones that matter, I get to see those people every day. Thats not the case with folks in a bar, I never see those people again and even if I do they wouldn’t remember me.

So If I were being asked this by someone who’s not me, this is the solution I would give them.

“Listen dude your not a creep, a creep is a selfish pathetic human being who only cares about his own pleasure. You put value in friendship, acceptance and intimacy these are all noble intentions. If they cant see that your a good person then fuck them because the only opinion of yourself that should matter is your own. Jobs come and go, real friends last and those that don’t then weren’t your friends to begin with and isn’t it better to know who your real friends are? Whats past is past you cant change that, its time to live for today because today is all that matters”

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Breasts…

July 16, 2008 at 6:22 pm (Bio)

I’m always surprised at what I dig. Ever since my dick started working I have been obsessed with boobs. Its been the one thing I have lusted over. I still remember the first time I jacked off, it was to an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati. Loni Anderson was wearing an very tight blouse (like she always did) and I suddenly felt like scratching my dick.


Well it went off. Yep puberty was an interesting period of my life. Jesus I had so many raging hormones in me I could have killed an elephant with them.

When I was 15 I actually got to touch breasts, he name was Wendy Walker and she was everything a 15 year old dreams about….. Easy

My family and I had gone on a week long cruise. That week was probably the pimpest I ever was. I think I made out with about a dozen girls. But Wendy…oh Wendy she was special. We practically got naked in the movie theater (yeah they had a movie theater on the ship) to Sommersby. Proving forever that it was always in the worst movies that something sexually important happened to me.

Im serious look!

First hand holding -> Tango and Cash

My first kiss -> Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot

First Base -> Sommersby

Second Base -> Cop and Half

Sex -> Boys to Men Music Video “I’ll Make Love To You”….half the video

Uh you get the idea. Anyway to this day I will take an less attractive woman over a more attractive one if breasts are involved. Why do I love the puppies so much? Its a mystery, maybe its the sensation of setting them free, its kind of like opening a present on x-mas day.

Why do breasts have such appeal to me? They are my kryptonite.

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Dynamic Duo

July 16, 2008 at 1:44 pm (Bio)

This past weekend was pretty interesting.  Raven and I have practically become a dynamic duo of sarging. I always tend to be out and about with him whenever I sarge.  I have noticed that I am rather defensive on who I sarge with mostly because I have had some pretty lame wings when I first started (although not as bad as The Judge or other PUA’s horror stories of bad wings).

I first met Raven after I had a disastrous outing with a guy who was so awkward he literally bit himself in the hand before he went up to talk to a girl. It was probably one of the worst nights I had, had. Raven had sent me a message on the stylelife board where I was in danger or becoming a keyboard jockey.

I remember I was so defensive with Raven on AIM I wouldn’t even tell him my age. But after thinking about it, I decided to give a new wing a chance.  So I met up with Raven, my first impressions of him was that he looked like the type of guy who if married would be married to a hot white girl. Turns out he was a pretty cool guy (thank god) and we got along just fine.

Over the past 4 and half months Raven and I have sarged with over a dozen different wings. Some have come and gone but the constant has been Raven and I. Raven has improved dramatically over time and I like to think that I had a hand in helping him but thats just cause im an ego maniac. It used to be Raven could not even hold a conversation now the dude is like the make out king.

I will say this though we still have a long way before we actually gel really well as a team. I have the bad habit of ejecting from sets and his sets last a very long time, sometimes over an hour. I’m sure over time we will calibrate a bit better and eventually just lording over the club.

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Chode!

June 14, 2008 at 7:02 pm (Bio, Inner Game)

I did not go out Friday night. Everyone flaked out and no one returned my phone calls.  I spoke to Love Pirate but he wouldnt make it till around 11pm to sarge. He also sounded a bit tired, I told him to stay in. One True Matt also texted me, turns out his Day2 flaked out on him, so he wound up going to 230 & 5th.

I stayed home and watched the entire 4th season of Greys Anatomy.

This can never happen again.

I go out every weekend twice a week. I have been doing that for 3 months straight. This is key for my development. If I don’t push myself to go out I will never get better.

Today had everything going for me. I scored a number from a girl on the subway (she was a old classmate I had a crush on forever who disappeared on me) and I re-opened HB Blue (See my b-day report) by doing some solid text game and got her myspace.

But I was too scared to sarge alone. So I choded out.

I cant be a chode, I can never chode out, it doesn’t serve me.

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